The Fantastic Voyage of the Deadpool Movie

Can you believe the Deadpool movie is literally just around the river bend? Because I can’t. It might even be out earlier for you because of time zones and early releases. I feel like time zones are a really elaborate way to cheat and see movies earlier than others, but since I don’t have all 7 Dragonballs yet I can’t do anything about that and I have to bear with it. So I know everyone’s excited for the movie, but before you get that overpriced movie food I must enlighten you for I have had another epiphany. Shenron has come to me with a mission to tell a story — the story of a legend that has been passed down for almost a decade. A tale full of sadness, hope, and finally triumph. A ship that set sail with no destination. This is the fantastic voyage of the Deadpool movie.

Disclaimer: This article is best read while listening to this song. Our story starts in 2009 with a movie, which, FYI, literally doesn’t exist in the cinematic universe anymore called Wolverine: Origins. Now, this movie wasn’t good at all. No one liked this movie. Even the people who said they liked it actually meant to say that they didn’t. This movie killed my goldfish. This movie is what Light Yagami actually used to kill all the people he killed in Death Note, not his actual Death Note. So this movie was bad, but there was a shining light in the middle of all the darkness. That shining light was Ryan Reynolds, I mean Deadpool… I mean Wade Wilson. Deadpool wasn’t in that movie. That abomination wasn…