Top 5 Dead Or Alive: Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda)

First things first, if you don’t fuck with Kung Fu, Pandas or Kung Fu Panda, then you chose the wrong cyber alley to walk after dark, homie. Speaking ill of any of those will get you reenacting Ricky’s last moments in Boyz in Da Hood. You can’t swing a Pixar employee without hitting a new animated film with talking animals/creatures with top notch celebrity voice talent, but Kung Fu Panda still upper echelon, fam. Especially when the Minions getting full movies and shit and we’re about to get Ice Age 47 this year. And if we talkin’ Kung Fu Panda, we talkin’ about some against all odds, martial arts deliciousness. We talkin’ villains, yo. Nothing beats the original. Tai Lung was the truth the Elric Brothers had no business seeing. As the greatest Snow Leopard of all time, for Kung Fu Panda, you gotta put Tai Lung in the Top Five Dead or Alive.

1) “Won’t sell ’em no dream, but the inspiration is free / But if they ever flip sides like Anakin / You’ll sell everything including the mannequin / They got a new *&^%*, now you Jennifer Aniston”

Yo, you know how this dark prophecy shit works, fam. Cats (literally cats, since dude is a Snow Leopard) just out here surviving as an orphan, trying to find his place in the world and also happens to have a once in a lifetime type of talent. Tai Lung was the prodigy, yo, but was denied his legacy cuz Oogway (read: Turtle Shell Yoda) saw darkness in him. So yeah, homie was mad he done worked his whole life to be told that some unseen th…