Westworld Season 2 Trailer: E’rrybody Dead

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IT’S. ABOUT. TO. GO. DOWN.

Baaaabyyy, HBO dropped the Westworld Season 2 trailer today at Comic Con and MY BODY IS READY!

Our favorite foreshadowing player piano is back and still bringing the best oldies and goodies that tell you how fucked this park is. Just as the dulcet tones of Sammy Davis Jr. crooning his way through “I’ve Got to Be Me” start, you see all is not right. Cause, lawd, somebody done bled all over the sheet music. Well, that’s ruined. But A+ song choice.

Shit at Westworld has officially hit the fan. Dead bodies everywhere: staff, investors, special guests, ain’t nobody in this bitch safe. Ford’s brains splattered somewhere across the good crystal and the hosts can kill now. Y’all done fucked all the way up.

We catch a glimpse of Bernard still in the middle of his existential crisis, where he’s been since Ford had him blow his own brains out. An understandably rough situation but my dude need to go head and reboot. This time he’s staring into the water at a dead tiger looking for answers. But Dolores did that last season too so maybe he’s on the right track.

Lawrence got his ass strung up again and stuck between a gun and an ant hill. At least I think/hope that’s Lawrence because he was one of my favorites last season. Especially since y’all killed the bae Clementine. #NeverForget

Meanwhile, back at the ranch it seems the whole Westworld staff got fired…into…(haha! I’ll see myself out). Lee, and Bast only knows HOW this incompetent muhfucka is still alive, looks on in horror as presumably the last man standing. And Maeve is like, bruh is you finished? Cause I got shit to do so let ME know if you finna have a mental breakdown so I can just shoot you in the face. Seriously, bish, is you finished or is you done?

I love you, Maeve.

Dolores and Teddy are enjoying a nice ride in the park. Chasing down what look to be three guests (probably investors. Hope y’all got wills). Teddy is surprisingly not catching a single L right now so way to make a come-up. Dolores, however, is in full-Wyatt mode and gleefully gunning down guests with her shotty. Let me say, Dolores ghost-riding a horse with both hands on her shotgun does it for me. Take that as you will.

The Mariposa lookin like a morgue, they even shot up the croupier. But guess who ain’t dead: old head of security Ashley. And is that Elsie riding beside Bernard? Maybe not, but when the website “crashed” at the end of last season, we definitely got hints that her nosy ass might still be alive.

William’s trash ass is still kicking too. Although with the way he’s covered in blood it looks like it’s been kicked. Don’t matter though, his old sadomasochistic ass enjoys that shit anyway. I’m just waiting for Maeve to shoot him in the face.

Hector and Armitage (not appearing in this trailer) are presumably still roaming the employee floors, armed and dangerous. Well, Armitage has one arm and at least one gun so I’ll stand by that. Charlotte might still be alive…maybe. But Tessa be workin so I wouldn’t be surprised if we see Charlotte’s brains mingling with Ford’s among the best glassware.

Season 1 left us with a lot of questions but Season 2 promises to kick it up and be better than ever. Plus there are samurai. Y’all gotta give us the samurai. And maybe a dinosaur.

If we make it into 2018, and Black people can still watch TV freely, I’ll see y’all on Sundays at 9. And as always, this park is fucked.

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  • Brittany N. Williams is a writer, actress, unimpressed Shakespearean Blerd, keeper of 90s theme songs, future Lord of the Fire Nation, and & New Orleanian by way of Baltimore, DC, Hong Kong, London, and NYC. Catch her laying waste to all challengers in Soul Calibur or slinging literary fire across the interwebs.

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  • Evil Ninja (@EvilNinjaX24)

    “Let me say, Dolores ghost-riding a horse with both hands on her shotgun does it for me.”

    You ain’t alone in that. I mean… ummmm… yeah.

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