What Your Favorite Orphan Black Clone Says About You

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With Orphan Black back for its fourth season, we get to spend time with our favorite clones again (all played by the same incredible woman, by the way). Any real debate about who is the best clone is futile, but at least we can offer some insight about what your favorite clone means in regards to how great/terrible you are.

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[title type=”h2″]Sarah Manning[/title]

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Resilient and tenacious, you respect problem solving skills and the willingness to make bad decisions and live with them. You have a singular focus, which may or may not be making everyone else’s life more difficult for your own benefit. This doesn’t make you selfish as much as your conviction that your shit needs to be addressed first. You probably have a maternal instinct that can best be described as “biblical retribution” and can reach absolutely no-fucks given quicker than everyone else you know.

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[title type=”h2″]Cosima Niehaus[/title]

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You most likely have a scientific mind and look at things logically. Except love and affection, for which you are hopelessly unprepared for. Your experimentation ventures into all things, including who you are attracted to and who you trust, which is the best and worst thing about you.

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Even though you fuck with science like that, you also love art and artistic expression on a visceral level, willing to rock hair and clothes that you don’t typically find at your very corporate and rigid workplace.

[title type=”h2″]Alison Hendrix[/title]

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If you love you some Alison, you know this life. You enjoy the nicer things that life offers, like an open floor plan house, PTO meetings, helping your Brown adopted kids with their school projects, emasculating your really lame, but bread-winning spouse and occasionally murdering your nosy neighbor. Ok fine, manslaughter-ing. If Alison is your favorite, it’s because you believe that all your darkness can be countered by the fact that you love your kids and are willing to do anything to protect your (not really) sisters.

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You probably hate guns but own at least one. You walk with your finger on your mace late at night even though you probably are the most dangerous person on the street. And like Cersei Lannister, you probably never met an alcoholic beverage before 5pm that you didn’t like.

[title type=”h2″]Rachel Duncan[/title]


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Chances are you lost the human parts of you before you reached adulthood and that the dark side of the force has taken your vital organs, leaving nothing but machinery and advanced robotics to compensate. So your steely demeanor may in fact be made of steel. Such is the life a Sith Lord. Still, you are always focused on the big picture, including the insignificant parts of that picture that need to be eliminated. You’re like the genius child who’s life was derailed because you knew “the truth” way too early and it has effected your existence profoundly to this point.

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[title type=”h2″]Helena[/title]

People that love Helena most believe in redemption. And ruthlessness. You may have come up in foster care or a cult, but regardless, you have always been aware that you have purpose. The same instinct that drives your unique sense of self preservation and survival instincts are the same ones that might lead you to kill anybody that looks at you funny or catcalls you on a busy street. So… be careful.

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You are a staunch believer in an eye for an eye, or an eye for a tail, or an eye for a reproductive organ, whatever gets the point across. Above all, you don’t believe in losing something that you just got and always needed, like family. And if it means you gotta wait in an abandoned corporate building with a sniper rifle all night, then so be it. Also, if you ever need a distinction between sociopath and psychopath, then just look at Rachel and Helena.

Or you’re not a clone at all, but gravitate most towards…
[title type=”h2″]Felix Dawkins[/title]

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…which means you’re awesome in about every conceivable way. You are the definition of a support system. You might be the skinniest firefighter around these parts, but you spend your time de-escalating the problems of your extended family and making sure none of them go completely off the reservation. You dress great and have the gift of velvet wrapped sarcasm. You are also the most artistic of the bunch since you are an unparalleled acting coach and paint in the nude on the regular.

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Truly selfless, you are willing to sacrifice your own love life so that your home can be central command to all your troublesome siblings.

Courtesy of BBC America, watch the first 4 minutes of the Season 4 premiere, Thursday, April 14th at 10pm!

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  • William is the Editor-In-Chief, leader of the Black Knights and father of the Avatar. With Korra's attitude, not the other one.