We’re back in Banshee, Pa aka “No Chill City” and we got Chayton Littlestone reenacting The Fugitive. Homes is on the run after getting the two-for-one shot and stab deal from Hood last episode. Dude is hiding out in the barn from Charlotte’s Web tripping balls, man. Charlotte must be telling Chayton he ain’t shit for what he did to Siobhan via her local wide web cause dude is straight up seeing ghosts… Siobahn’s to be exact.
Chayton tries to hijack the owner when she comes out but passes out due to blood loss. Now this woman had a clear cut chance to get the fuck outta dodge but she chooses to fix homie up on some savior shit. I. Woulda. Been. Gone! Chayton repays her by killing her neighbor when he checks on her then killing her ass. Also I gotta point out the neighbor sees Chayton come out from the cut and stands there dialing his phone for I assume 911. I literally shouted at the screen, “AIN’T NO SHAME IN RUNNING AND DIALING DUDE!!”
Deva’s ass was acting up as she was watching her new loser boyfriend engage in their watered down “Fight Club”. You can tell the kids in Banshee ain’t got shit else to do aside from hang out in aisle 7 of Walmart and beat the shit out of each other in an empty pool. Carrie and Gordon show up with the “For real? If this was back yard wrestling I could understand but you better than this Deva” faces on. Deva’s bae of the week and his boys tried to put the hands on Carrie and Gordon then proceeded to get that classic WWF tag-team ass whooping.
Carrie and Gordon are the new tag-team champs. They actually fucking did wrestling moves in this fight. Carrie hit a dude with a fucking snap-mare and Gordon hit the bae of the week with a fucking swinging neck breaker. I got a rule that if you get hit with a wrestling move in a straight up fight? You lost. I dont care if you eventually win. In reality you lost cause how you goin live with that? The kid gets so heated he pulls the glock out on Gordon. Gordon got in dude’s face like, “YEAH THIS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER! I BEEN WISHING A MOTHER FUCKER WOULD ALL GOD DAMN WEEK SON! YOU THAT MUTHA FUCKA? ARE YOU? SQUEEZE THEN B! SQUUUEEEEEEEEZE!!!” You know that boy wasn’t ’bout that life and caught the fucking fist of fury to the face after that.
The worst part of that beating was the kid in the back going …”Uhmmm wasn’t that the Mayor?” as the trio left. Which means this kid got put in a fuckin WWF swinging neck breaker AND knocked out by the fucking town mayor??!?! You know he writing a suicide note soon as they left. Once they got home Carrie and Gordon got it in because apparently beating up on pissy self-righteous “I do what I want” teenagers is an aphrodisiac.
Meanwhile Hood is haunted by Siobhan visions, so what he do? He went out and started practicing his Turok skills on a tree because you never know when he might have to meet a rival gang leader and knife fight it out.
Amy comes to tell Hood she is sorry about not pulling the burner on Chayton and that she knows where he can be found. Hood can fuck with that, so in the meantime he goes for that military bank heist side mission. That’s right, ya boy done lost it all so now it’s time go gain some shit back, starting with the wallet. Job tried to talk him out of it but Hood said, “The Fanshees want it now, man. We gotta get it in.”
Now this shit went from a straight up side mission to fucking Golden Eye / Splinter Cellon this episode. Look at all these camera views man. I felt so bad for Sugar having to stay in the cut and operate it all. Job gave him the fucking crash course in Criminal IT Services. The good thing is his google game going to be on another level after this.
Man the crew went in like they were about to repo some shit. They must have studied Sallie Mae tactics cause they avoided mad soldiers and cameras to get to the fucking money, man. I forgot I was watching Banshee and thought it was the new Rainbow 6. They visuals for this shit were fucking that incredible.
The job was going great, man. I was nervous as fuck watching this shit like my ass was there. The crew had it all good tho, everything was clock work. Job was fucking with the system, Carrie was working the safe, Hood was watching Job’s back and seeing Siobhan, Sugar was watching some torrents he downloaded while looking — wait? Hood seeing Siobhan right now on the most crucial and dangerous heist on a fucking military base?! WHAT PART OF THE GAME IS THAT HOOD?!?
Sun, Hood is freaking ouuuuuuuut. Meanwhile Job was getting his ass worked by the merc cosplaying as a soldier. Job was catching all the UFC knees, spin kicks and even the fuckin Shawn Michaels Sweet Chin Music Finisher to Job’s fucking point-of-view cam (and I already told y’all how I feel about WWF moves in a fight). Hood came in at the last possible second to knock dude out to save Job. The general came to check in on the money but thankfully Carrie already cracked the safe, and they stole all the goods. These cats were on the run. They were almost scott free until Hood had to hold off the General. My man was not going down. Y’all done went and took his pension, man. He was so relentless he even followed Hood up into the crew’s getaway truck and was kicking everybody’s ass like he had a fucking WWF special meter on. They literally had to kick him out the back door.
After it’s all said and done the gang parts ways and Job looking at Hood sayin,
Job: Well? The fuck did I take all them mutha fucking knees for?
Hood: Leave it.
Job: Leave it? Mutha fucka, leave it? That guy left his fucking size 12 boot in my fucking liver. I’m having a really hard time just leaving it, Hood. See– see– see this is why– Ooooooooh Lord. JESUS. MMMM– Okay. I’ma leave before I say some shit. Leave It. Lucky I ain’t leave your ass. Gonna get me some Icy Hot…I’m too pretty for this shit.
Hood clocks back into work (how many days this guy be taking off, tho?) and Amy tells him she knows where Chayton is headed. He’s going to the big easy to hook up with another gang for safe keeping. Hood gets his mardi gras beads ready cause he ’bout to show his ass and beat Chayton’s. Brock already had his beads on and is coming with Hood. Yeah man, it’s road trip time.
Are you following Black Nerd Problems on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or Google+?
Show Comments
Kyle Norville
Nah son… General put the paws on EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. He bodied.