Season: 8 / Episode: 6, “The Iron Throne” / HBO
***Spoilers be killing off plot-lines like seasons 1-3 used to kill off characters*** Check out our entire Game of Thrones recap catalog here. It’s been a ride, yo.
A Walk Through Fire
Whewwwww, can you smell that conquest in the air?! I said, can you smell that liberation?! It’s funny to talk about freeing people from tyranny when the people are too dead to know theY’re free? I appreciate that you have given me true freedom now if you could give me a fire blanket to get these dragon flames off my fucking neck.
Damn, Tyrion. Back in season three, you were the man homie. The fuck happened to you? Your boy walking through the cinders. Your boy is walkin’ the mile, but this shit is decorated with dead children and overcooked pot roast. In this analogy, the pot roast is still children.
Tyrion finally splinters off from Not-Jon and Davos to walk alone. If it was ever in anyone’s power to prevent this shit, of those who had an understanding of what might come, it was Hand of the Queen. Varys was burnt alive so that everyone…could be burnt alive. Bravo Tyrion.
Man, listen, I wanted more for Grey Worm. My dude had so much weight on his shoulders. He basically the only Black man left on the show, and they got your dude out here being Mitch McConnell. Whatever his queen needs, he’s doing it, without question. You hate to see it.
They executing Lannister men in the street. Even though they have surrendered. Twice. Not-Jon puts his hands on Grey Worm—
You know what, fuck this. I’m calling him Aegon. His momma called him Aegon, I’m gonna call him Aegon. I know this became the biggest fucking McGuffin in TV history and everyone on the show literally forgets this is a thing, but I’m calling him Aegon moving forward. I’m fed up.
Anyways —Aegon puts his hands on Grey Worm and the Unsullied are like, bruh, everybody gonna get the pointy end if we go down this road. Davos calms the nerves and Aegon walks off, leaving Grey Worm to get that execution music poppin’.
Tyrion is still wandering the Red Keep and you know what he’s lookin’ for. He finally finds himself down in the crypts where it’s confirmed that yes, the Lannister twins died…of a cave in. Look, we talk about the logistics of the crypts, how they should’ve stood in the archway, all that’s inconsequential and symptoms of an entirely different problem on Thrones the last couple of years. That they didn’t really fuck with continuity and details down the line. What’s important is that yes, they fuckin’ dead and yes, it was unromantic.
Which, ya know if this was The Wire, where it was a show predicated on folks just being placeholders in a repeating cycle, where Omar can get shot by a dude in a convenient store and then be mislabeled in a morgue, then ok. BUT THIS AIN’T THAT SHOW. The heroes and the villains and the whatevers get meaningful deaths in a fantasy epic. This ain’t it.
Apparently, Arya didn’t like her Uber driver and left the horse early. So, the pale horse got her from the West side of King’s Landing to the East side of King’s Landing? Welcome back to a long list of beautiful images that were purely for imagery sake but had no functionality on the story. We’ll be back to this theme. Seriously, I wish I had a counter in the corner of the screen.
Arya wandering the wreckage (again). In case we didn’t get this from her standpoint last episode, you get to see the joyous conquest of Danny where there is no regard for the genocide of King’s Landing. She sees Aegon walking through the ranks on his way to talk to the Queen. Aegon makes his way up the steps and sees Grey Worm standing in his path. Wait…did Aegon take a fucking detour here? Did he get re-routed cuz of all the construction that’s about to happen? How the fuck did Grey Worm personally slit the throat of about 10 Lannister soldiers, then beat him here AND get to the top of the steps. Look, all I’m sayin is, I want Grey Worm on my Tough Mudder team. Either that or his access to teleportation technology.
Drogon flies overhead and my dude gotta be feeling himself considering he just dropping 50 points and handed out 12 assists in an elimination game over King’s Landing. Manifest Daenerys comes walking out with a beautiful, if not wholly unnecessary shot of Drogon’s wings sprouting behind her. [Counter at 2 now. Like respect to the cinematographers but they should be enhancing the story, not the story forming around whatever image they want to showcase.]
Auntie D walking out triumphant and all smiles, yo. She ran the score up like she trying to get her squad into the College Football Playoff. She gives a stump speech that unsurprisingly sounds like something you would’ve heard from the White House before the invasion of Iraq. Also, where did all these Dothraki come from. I ain’t mad, but also, where these muthafuckas playing dead at the battle of Winterfell, cuz there damn sure weren’t this many when them fires went out. That cloning technology is way ahead of it’s time.
Auntie D promotes Grey Worm aka Torgo Nudho to Queen’s Master of War. Which means he must have been Interim-Queen’s Master of War before. Manifest Daenerys starts naming places they will liberate…even if they already liberated? Like Winterfell was the first place she named yo. Yeah…we could have never seen that coming.
Celebration of the Life…about to be Ended
The celebration keeps moving until Tyrion is finally fed the fuck up and steps forward. Aegon lookin’ at Tyrion like…what this muthafucka bout to do with all that murder in his eyes. Auntie D looks at him and accuses dude of treason for freeing Jaime. Tyrion is like, um, I’ll take the release of a one-handed dude who posed no threat to you killing a whole city of people.
But like…she didn’t even deny that shit. Tyrion gets taken away after tossing that cute trinket down the steps. Auntie D lookin’ at Aegon with disgust before she walks off too. AND ARYA JUST APPEARS. Honestly, that might be my favorite part of the episode. I need a super cut of her just surprising Aegon that she’s there. She tries to convince him that Auntie D got her bloodlust up and because she knows who he is, that she will probably have him killed.
Aegon goes to see Tyrion in his captivity. He knows his time is short. He’s realizing (fucking now) that he made a horrible mistake. This should’ve been a great scene. This was the exact position you want Tyrion in. But the fact that this scene is so long because Aegon takes so much convincing for shit that he has seen with his own eyes is DUMMMBBB. Up until this point, Aegon’s naivety has been in lieu of believing in a better world that may not be. But this shit is Lindsey Graham self-denial level bruh. Like, we still supposed to be rooting for this dude? Tyrion basically lays out that she’s been validated in her actions this whole time because there was a cheering for who she defeated. Then drops this admittedly dope bar:
Wouldn’t you kill whoever stood between you and paradise?
Again, I would’ve loved some version of this Tyrion for the last several seasons instead of Thrones version of Sarah Huckabee-Sanders. And like…not this version of Aegon at all. It only took Tyrion seeing his siblings crushed under Fraggle Rock tunnel to get him back. After the pep talk from Tyrion, Aegon the Know Nothing makes his way to see his Auntie. Drogon out here buried under ash guarding the entrance.
The Throne is Waiting for You
Manifest Daenerys up in the throne room FEELING HERSELF. In her George W voice: Mission Accomplished. And…the Iron Throne is still there. Fucking pristine, actually. Walls melted around it. Rubble fallen conveniently around it. I mean, I’m not a show runner. and I didn’t sleep at a Holiday Inn last night, but if we were going for symbolism, it would’ve been dope to see Daenerys finally come see the Iron Throne for herself, but instead it’s melted away because of her actions. BUT I JUST BE OUT WRITING MAN, DON’T MIND ME. But ya know, the throne needed to still be there for heavy handed imagery later.
She starts giving Aegon this wistful anecdote about how tough she thought the Iron Throne was while SMILING HER ASS OFF. Aegon ain’t here for the cute shit though. He has an issue with her ordering the execution of soldiers that have already surrendered. He’s like, fam, you was real high up on the dragon, you ain’t seen what I’ve seen in these streets. She talkin’ about all her actions are necessary.
Aegon pleads with her to spare Tyrion and she’s like…uh, no dude. That ain’t some shit we do round here. I fried your best friend’s whole family tree publicly for fighting against me, you think I’m gonna let that dude throw my pin down the steps and not return in kind?
Finally cuz Dany is convinced she is doing the right thing, she really leaving Aegon with little choice. Cuz our dude really needed to be beat in the face with the fact she gonna engulf the world in dragon fire until there is no question she rules above them. And then…Dany tells him to join her in breaking the wheel.
The Reaper Comes with a Kiss Goodbye
Le sigh. Look, can we say a short prayer for the “Daenerys will kill her nephew because he has the truest claim to the throne” storyline. Cuz…apparently not. I mean, this turns on so many levels. One, it’s logical. She doesn’t trust anyone. She knows she can’t really trust Aegon cuz he done already told folks who he is. She eliminates threats, and he is THE threat. If she didn’t have any problem roasting townsfolk alive, she really wouldn’t have any issue killing this dude who threatens her legitimacy as the rightful ruler. And yet…
…even if we went with the Dany is actually crazy like her pops angle. Then she would be paranoid. And if she wanted to be Queen above all else, she would assume that Aegon wanted that too. So, she would strike pre-emptively. The only wrong answer on the board was Dany trust Aegon now and still wants to run the world with him even though he has questioned her authority at every turn and as recent as five seconds ago. And the writers wrapped their arms around that shit.
Well, cue the embrace. Cue the last venture into incestuous foreplay, cue the ending significance of both characters Daenerys Targaryan and Jon Snow. He slips that blade up between her ribs. The unkillable Daenerys has finally been killed.
Man, if Drogon didn’t feel that shit in the Force! Dude start stirring before the blood stops running down Daenerys’ cheek. Your dude come up to the top level like: What the fuck Jon, I thought we were cool?!? So apparently, Drogon is a great many things, but a decent bouncer at the door ain’t one of them. You can’t let cats get in the door with ten-inch blades on them, man.
Quick aside cuz ya know what, this recap is draining the life force from me, and I need some me time: Back in my clubbing days in Columbus, Ohio, there was a bouncer that me and my homies nicknamed John Randle. Cuz he looked exactly like the former Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle, John Randle. My dude was as big as a Toyota Camry with that muscles on top of muscles look. When dude frisked you at the door, you KNEW you were clean. His pat downs were so thorough he could find a cold on you that you haven’t even shown symptoms for yet. I felt safe in the club, cuz I knew that nobody was getting into the club with a damn thing fam. I think about that dude often.
Anyways—Drogon is like, are you fuckin’ serious man? He sees Aegon holding a dead queen in his hands and is not happy about that shit. He really did the nudge Dany to make sure she ain’t playing move a couple of times like Simba did his daddy before running away until Nala dragged his ass back to Pride Rock.
Drogon prepares to spit the hottest verse at Aegon…but not actually? We get the tropiest of tropes where Drogon looks at Aegon like he’s about to light his ass up, but then turns at the last second and melts the throne instead. I mean, maybe I’m the one not giving dragons the credit for their intelligence. I guess Drogon understands both cliché filmmaking and symbols of (destroying) imperialism [this puts our count at 3, by the way]. He does no harm to Aegon, but instead gathers up his mama and bounces into the smoke blotted sunset.
Several Weeks Later *holds up title card*
It’s gotta be weeks later, cuz Tyrion’s beard look like the fake joints the Soggy Bottom Boys were using in O Brother, Where Art Thou? He still in captivity, and Torgo escorts him to the old dragon pits. Where AYEBODY is in attendance. This is really the Westeros G6 fam. Sansa is like, where is Jon Snow [I feel my blood pressure rising]. Torgo tells her that he is a prisoner, and they will do with him what they please.
Which means that your boy Aegon straight up confessed to killing Dany because there was nobody to accuse him. Drogon literally flew off with the evidence. This is the perfect murder trophy muthafuckas been trying to get in Heavy Rain, bruh. But ol honorable ass Aegon gotta be all extra honorable and turn his ass in. I would’ve been like, ya know what…I think her and Drogon went to conquer some more shit. She didn’t even tell me where she was going tbh.
Yara starts getting the bars off about how she ain’t really fuckin’ with Jon Snow, because she was riding with Dany. Or she’s mad she didn’t get to see Dany naked before the deed went down. Whichever. She says the Unsullied should do away with that dude, and Arya tells her to shut that mess down before she comes over and does it for her…
…you know what, I’m being too generous. After the last episode and a half, I’m not sure I really believe that anymore. Arya went from ice cold killer that killed Ice King Magneto to being softened by Clegane literally on the doorstep of her ultimate goal to running around shaken by the death and destruction caused by Dany to cold blooded threatening folks lives at the UN again? I dunno fam, you can’t just turn the murder switch on whenever you feel like it.
Ser Davos tries to negotiate with Torgo by promising him the Reach aka Highgarden aka the shit that Bronn was promised. But we’ll get back to that.
Tyrion is like, it ain’t your choice though, a King or a Queen should decide. Of course, there is no current King or Queen. So Torgo is like, choose one?!?! I’m…so confused. The Unsullied have prisoners of war. They are squared up against the other forces of Westeros, but Torgo prompts them to choose a ruler that, apparently, he will comply with?
NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.
Comedy Night at Thrones’ Lounge
Man, but at least there’s comic relief here. Edmure Tully stands up to speak and everyone looks at him like they didn’t even know he was there till now. Dude hasn’t spoken since he was missing all his arrow shots trying to give his pops a proper Viking funeral several seasons ago. I ain’t mad that he really tried to shoot his shot though. Even if Sansa came through like Joel Embiid and smacked his shit off the backboard.
Sansa was really like, uncle, nobody takes you seriously fam. Can we not? After that unsuccessful venture Sam grabs the mic. I mean, look, hats off to Sam trying to introduce a democracy into Westeros. And finally, hats off to the authenticity of powerful people laughing Sam off the fucking grounds for suggesting that. That shit was both accurate and depressing. But this shit really moves to them asking Tyrion who should be ruler.
And he offers up…Bran “I seent you with my third eye” Stark. I…I…
Bran the Broken, actually…
I mean, let’s tackle one thing at a time, cool?
1) Allow me to repeat what you’ve undoubtedly heard already. They really said fuck the votes and used an electoral college to pick Bran as king. Like…I can’t.
2) I’m not always in the group of folks that thinks we should hold the Game of Thrones universe to the strictest of our very specific 2019 sensitivities, but Bran the Broken is…like, not great. Bran the See-er. Bran the Raven. Bran the Knowing. Hell, go full circle with the new world view and go with Bran the Builder. But the broken? What are we doin?
3) Shoutout to Sansa who wanted to make it plain very publicly that her brother’s dick didn’t work for him to father children. Sansa really trying to go out as the shade GOAT in this finale.
4) Also, Tyrion just gonna make all the decisions? My dude has been making bad decision after bad decision after bad decision, but dude not only names the new king, but also the electoral process moving forward. No disgraced prisoner should have all that power.
5) Shoutout to Bran for getting the screeners for this episode way ahead of everyone else at the meeting and only coming cuz he knew he was going to be made king. My dude held that embargo like a fucking champ.
6) And lastly: they made traitors of both Aegon and Tyrion. Embarrassed the senior Lord at the summit. Countless other dudes like Stannis and Joffrey been dead. And still, still, they found a way to put a dude on the Throne, LMAO. Like, remember a season ago when folks were on Al Gore’s internet talking about how vital the women were to the power structure of this show. *Laughs in the key of Elizabeth Warren*
And your New King is Broken
Everybody says aye to King Bran, except his sister Sansa. She like, b, I love you. Like, you know I got nothin’ but love for you. But we ain’t doing that seven kingdoms shit. We Switzerland, yo. We want no parts of that worldwide rule shit. Which King Bran grants…and nobody else refutes? Like Yara cannot be happy about submitting to a Stark for about a billion different reasons, but she cool with this?
And because Tyrion has been failing up for a solid four seasons now, King Bran names him Hand of the King. Torgo tries to oppose but…he literally asked them to pick a ruler with the handling of prisoners being the impetus. I can’t make sense of it anymore. Total, help me sing!
Part of the great compromise is that the dude they keep calling Jon Snow will go to the Night’s Watch. LOL. Again. My man went from Bastard to Night’s Watch to Lord Commander to King in the North to Auntie Lover to Rightful Heir to Queen Slayer to the Night’s Watch again. I mean…that’s an arc…I guess.
Also, how does it never, not ever come up that he is actually Aegon Targaryan at the summit? This shit ain’t a secret anymore, or at least shouldn’t be considering its not a thing that Daenerys must hide to keep power anymore. Even if it wouldn’t have changed anything functionally, can we at least call this dude by his real name?
Freed Aegon makes his way out of the cell and is about to be escorted north back to Castle Black. He passes Torgo that still looks at him like ON SIGHT. Torgo apparently declined the invitation to settle in the Reach and is setting sail for Naath. Which is cool, I suppose. I mean, to be honest, I considered stopping my recap here and just writing my own fan fiction for the Unsullied settling in Naath, killing slavers that tried to come to the country, and Torgo personally hunting down anyone that was connected with the kidnapping of Missandei and her peoples (if Daenerys didn’t kill them already when she got the Unsullied army). But y’all have rode with me for literal years, y’all deserve me to sprint through the finish.
Aegon meets his siblings at the harbor before setting sale. Also, one bright spot. Sansa’s fits were kind of great. I don’t know what the triangle pattern was doing on her clothing, but shit looks great. And then, there’s Arya.
Look, you might be new to the recaps and don’t realize that I have been an Arya stan from day one. This…this ain’t the move. So, Arya just gonna go full on pirate now? She gonna colonize west of Westeros? I guess shoutout to Arya shooting down flat Earth theory in this universe. To say the last two episodes have been weird for Arya would be an understatement. The Faceless man technique never showed up again. If she kept the icy cold demeanor they want to turn off and on, she could be running her own shadow government of destabilizing houses. Or she could have went back to Essos to start a new school of Black and White. Literally anything. But instead she’s Dora the Explorer. I know y’all don’t want to hear this, but if I knew then, what I know now of what happens to her arc, I would rather have had her die while killing the Night King. Cuz they clearly didn’t know what to do with her after that.
And her goes Brienne. Bruh. BRUH. Brienne is flipping through the pages of the King’s Guard. Which apparently she is part of now (back to that in a minute). And I’m like, bet, she has to be commander then. She bout to put her name in this shit.
A Final Farewell to Our Watch
She putting her ex Jaime’s exploits in this shit. Fam. They really had Brienne write a glowing comment on a facebook wall of a dude that lightweight coerced her virginity and then left a day later in the middle of the night to go be with his sister-lover in the middle of a war. We could’ve had it all, yo. Not to mention I guess the expiration date is up on her vow to protect the Stark girls as she ain’t in the North anymore.
Tyrion is getting the table ready for the small council. And our small council is Lord Brann, Ser Davos, Maester Sam, and Ser Brienne. Maester Sam brings in a tome of history named…A Song of Ice and Fire. The meta is so strong with this one. When King Bran arrives, he’s like, one, the cabinet looking mad light. He also asks where Drogon is at. My dude said fuck this, I’m going back east for real for real.
Aegon makes his way back to Castle Black, and his bae-friend Tormund is there waiting for him. Thank you for being consistent Tormund, don’t you ever change fam. And what’s next is basically a montage of the last remaining Starks not named Bran going their own separate ways.
Arya prepares to become Blackbeard, Sansa is at her coronation as Queen of the North, and Aegon stepped right back into his role as Lord Commander apparently and is leading an expedition up north.
And like, that’s it. That’s the tweet fam. We’re done here. Oh, and the budget allowed Jon to pet Ghost. Now, we’re done.
And even though I don’t like the storyline, I’m Arya right now man. Sail me west cuz it’s been a run. I’m hanging up needle on the recap game. Last season being what it was, doing the Game of Thrones recaps has been as fun and rewarding a thing that I’ve gotten to do possibly ever with my writing and my specific voice. For those that checked in every week, hit me in the off-season, poked me with a stick on Monday mornings, and shared the recaps far and wide, I can’t thank y’all enough. The catalog will always be on this site for folks that want to revisit the series but disconnected their HBO at 11pm EST time on Sunday. I’ll catch y’all somewhere else in the realm. More than likely in Naath.
Our watch has end My Lords, Ladies, GNC-Heads of House and protectors of the Realm.