Season 2/Episode 6/HBO
*This recap is fulla spoilers, like all them bowls in ya mama’s house. We got everything in this one.*
Starting this episode with folks pointing out the obvious (like, Issa didn’t know her bumper was falling off… shit was completely trashed homie) means that “hella blows” is probably more than a notion. Let’s get in this.
Molly pulling late nights, getting calls from Dro (whom my allergy meds had me mistakenly calling Jarrell last week, my bad ya’ll… blame it on the Beny) like he her boo thang. This conversation is the most awkward next day shit ever. I mean, banging ya poly/open homie right after you find out your dad cheated on your mom gotta scoot you to the top of the daddy issues mailing list or at least cause you to screen your calls until ya feelings calm tf down. Shit was like…
Dro: Aye girl, wassup? It’s late…
Molly: I’m working. At work. Working at work right now.
Dro: I know you employed, but what you working with?
Molly: I got a pen in my hand right now. A forreal pen. This is not a metaphor. I’m at work.
Dro: Soo… about that game?
Molly: Huh? Uh. You know ya left stroke just went viral?
Molly and Issa switched places on that one. Her eyes were mad flitty tryna figure out how to get off the phone. Mama called at the right moment, too. Even though she got blocked.
Issa on that public transportation late night with the illest of all of her shirts this season. Season 2 Issa tryna get some, texting Daniel and he ain’t on texting back right away after Issa put it down that she only tryna heaux right now and she ain’t looking for not a damn thing else. When them dialogue bubbles pop up, but a text don’t come through…. you know you been cut off. Plan B? Neighborbae. Issa show up at his door, no call/no text, after her mirror montage of sex positive self talk, lipstick, and slayed edges. Neighborbae on his heauxtation, too. Lil’ mama in the background looking for that charger. What is it with this dude and women and phone chargers. LOL.
Issa got blocked twice in one night? She walked away from his door sex hangry than a mugg. You know how anything will piss you off when you hangry? The cute ass bird on you windowsill loud af, singing like he got a full belly. You stub your toe on the same corner of the bed you always stub it on. How you had to peel the wrapper down on ya kid’s crayon a-fuggin-gain and you blow up something stupid? Yo, that was Issa when Thug Yoda stopped her, baby wet wet and Beats in hand, asking if she going to Target cause he needs some Bleenex and Blorox Bleach. She was heated. No peen and no car? Issa was looking at Thug Yoda/Miles like she was one step away from taking off her earrings and grabbing some Vaseline.
Next day: Lawrence at the job giving mediocre presentations for mediocre idea getting passive ass feedback from hipsters in hoodies and lumberjack button downs. Issa and Molly in the car shop tryna get an estimate while Molly pouring out her heart to Issa about getting busy with Dro. She on that next day guilt, plotting on how to never sleep with her friend again and get it back to the old days before he was blowing that baaaaack ooooout [in my best drunk Taye Diggs/The Best Man voice]. The estimate for Issa’s car got too many zeros for her blood and then Molly turns around and offers her a ride. Ha. Like there was another option. In the car, Molly calls herself helping by squashing the Morrocco plans and naming every other M-word option like she was running down the catalog of vacation spots in the key of “Mmmmm.”
Molly: “Miami. Montego Bay. Monteray. Minneapolis. Massachusetts. Museum of Modern Art Montreal.”
Issa finally breaks down about her heaux game being nonexistent right now and delivers one of the realest heaux lines ever: “When I call, you bring over the d—-!” It’s a heaux’s call to arms. Okay fellas, now let’s get in heauxtation. I’mma need her to be more sex confident than that. You gotta be more than mediocre, girl. I mean, I hope you are. Anyways. Issa straight up about to snatch Silver Fox/LatinBae and get it. That’s the plan, anyway.
Meanwhile, Lawrence talking to his coworker thinking he rocked that presentation with the hottest Prezi in the game. He was mad confident for nothing. Lawrence out here planning for the Smartboard next week, getting strong critical feedback and brushing it off like she was telling him about a new line of Mr. Rogers sweaters he should check out. Lawrence like, “Nah, I’m good… this one fits well. It’s comfy. I slept in it for two years and now it knows me.”
Molly meets Dro at the bar for the game and the next day talk. He ain’t even taking her seriously. This ain’t new to him, though. He been open and getting it for some time now. This new to Molly and it’s old now, too…cause he shonuff hitting it again. Can I just stop here and say something about Dro’s glutes. Like, I’m grown and I done seen many a sex scenes on tv shows and movies, but dang on it. Dro’s booty butt cheeks be puttin’ in work for the camera. They so extra. Them muscles was moving like rolling hills. Calm your booty down. Like, literally, lol. Molly getting it in and Issa is trying to woo Silver Fox.
The juxtaposition of these two is something serious. Molly ain’t trying and Issa trying too damn hard. Silver Fox tryna compliment her art, sip on some wine, and get to dinner. Issa pulled up some music and hit him with the dorm room amplifier and dropped that phone in a cup to set the mood. That cardigan popped open quicker than bottles on New Year’s Eve, but Silver Fox hit her with the one word that will dry you all the way up from an older lover: sweetie. When he hit you with sweetie, it’s game over. Done. Lights out, but not how you like it. This is lights out after story time and a glass of warm milk. Sweetie means he ain’t tryna be daddy tonight but he about to act like ya father. Sweetie means somebody hit them brakes the way Issa shoulda hit em last week. Issa big mad. No peen. No dinner. No nothing.
Molly is trying to have a real conversation about rules, boundaries and shit while Dro still cracking jokes. He’s giving the details so Molly can make a real, grown ass decision about what they’re getting into and it looks like Molly is a go. Ok. Be grown and have some discussions about it. Homegirl to Homegirl? Be careful, Molly. I don’t know if this is what you want.
Morning comes and we see Lawrence back at work for the follow up, the self imposed follow up, from his Powerpoint. Them dudes looking at Lawrence like they had to step back to remember his name. It’s mad uncomfortable when he asks for feedback. These cats do some feet shuffling and start throwing out adjectives like they’re talking to a third grader. They hit him with the “perspective” line that we know means “you help us meet our quota.”
That evening, the ladies are at Sexplosion standing around the candy bowls full of condoms shit talking like always. Issa got some one liners for the Book of Heaux tonight. “I only fellat with protection” gotta be in the code of conduct. This whole oral sex conversation is the realest. Sometimes it takes Black women into their thirties to be real about this shit. Some women never talk about it. Kelli blaming the Black Church for the fellatio non-disclosure forms handed out at the last cookout and Issa taking notes as Mrs. Tiffany DuBois lays the gospel of oral according to experienced/married heauxs. Somebody tell the choir to sing “Control” in the key of Janet Jackson.
Back at work the next day and Molly’s doing research on how Black women can close the pay gap while she continues to avoid her mama. Lawrence comes to the realization that “Woot, Woot” was crap and that the higher ups didn’t want to critique a Black man out loud. He and his coworker are kinda vibin’ after she told him her own experience coming in the business fresh and dealing with white me who are “down” but don’t know how to talk to women (especially WOC). Looks like Lawrence is learning a thing or two. Cheers to the journey to 2.0.
It’s night time and Issa’s chillin’ with Daniel and feeling some kinda way about him dissin’ her the past few nights. They got dranks flowing and he hits her with her favorite: Prosecco with a splash of Jameson. Daniel be stayin’ real. He knows what Issa likes and it looks like she’s about to give him what he likes, too.
Bruh. Sis. Y’all.
It’s. She’s. About. To. Go. Down.
This episode is mad NSFW! Issa putting them good CEUs from Sexplosion to use while Molly is learning the hard way about being in a relationship with a married man. Dro’s wife calls and her party ends.
Issa puttin’ in work and–
Did Daniel just…
Yo! Issa is HOT! She forgot the responsibility chapter in the Book of Heaux about laying down ground rules, making your limits clear, not expecting someone to know your boundaries, protecting ya face… alladat. Issa so mad, she one eyed that entire damn argument.
Daniel thought it was cool. I mean… you can’t just assume everybody is down for that. That’s why conversations about new shit are so critical. Have ya sex talks, folks. Learn from Issa and Daniel. Do not be out here big mad, sex hangry and UberPooling with lunchroom napkins on ya eye.
This had to be the realest episode ever. I watched and rewatched this to process everything that went down. Sex talks with your home girls and with your partners are mad important. It’s all part of staying safe and satisfied. We’ll see what lessons were learned from this episode next week.
Stay safe, loves.
Are you following Black Nerd Problems on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or Google+?
Show Comments