It’s Time We Stop Pretending That Simba Wasn’t Garbage In The Lion King

Say what you will about Disney movies (and there’s plenty), but you can’t be out here in these streets acting like Disney ain’t got hits. They’ve been servicing the young, the old, the old with youngins and everyone in between for over 75 years fam. But the banger? The one that make you call up the fine GNO/Gal/Guy/Lion on a Friday night and ask if you trying to Disney and Chill is The Lion King. Ain’t even close folks. Not even. Lion King is exactly that, King of the gotdamn Pride Rock and to this day, it still tops my chart.

But even as we come to give praise to one of the best that ever done it, we have to set some baselines first. One: Rafiki was reincarnated as a brotha in Atlanta named Darius. Two: Can you feel the love tonight is one verse and a couple of lyrical choices away from being borderline risque for a G rated film. And Three: Simba, the beloved protagonist of the film, is straight up landfill. Trash. Rubbage. GOP 2016. Whatever you want to call it man. Every time I see a clip of Simba whipping his premature mane back and forth, I want to yell at the TV, “but YOU AIN’T THAT NICE, B [vigorous hand clap] YOU AIN’T THAT NICE.”

I know, Simba is an American Icon. Like a Kardashian. Or the Confederate Flag. But I ain’t convinced man. Simba made some calls that just don’t sit right on my spirit. I recently watched The Lion King with my daughter, thinking that I was about to enjoy one of the best movies of all time while watching my daughter enjoy the majesty of this…