Quarry Recap: A Mouthful of Splinters

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Season 1 / Episode 3 / Cinemax

Man, folks were way too damn much back in the day yo. The one-legged dude Suggs that Mac and Arthur were hired to kill done found Mac’s place and gave Joni the old war buddy act to get invited in. When Mac comes back from his affair, he finds a message written in blood in comic sans on the wall for’em and a phone call from Suggs saying he got Joni and he wants some money and some answers. Yo, why Mac immediately go off on dude like he was calling to get his telemarketer yo? Meanwhile, Buddy’s mom is playing Operation, stitching up the bullet-shaped “L” he took to the leg last episode.

The Broker is up in the Harlem Nights spot with Honey Bee on his lap when he gets the call that Quarry trying to reach him. This dude leaving the bankroll for tip for the girls at the table and shit. Broker really comfortable around Black folk. He comes out to Quarry, who’s worried and pacing around and wanting help, talking bout snitching on The Broker’s whole operation if he has to. Broker gives him a minute more than I woulda to let him know how dumb that would be considering Quarry’s prints is still fresh on the controller from the kill he did on Cliff, aka Dukes of Hazard in the garage, plus being involved in the crime scene where Arthur was murdered. Broker gotta be feeling some type of way on the threats of dry snitching and leaves Quarry till his ass starts Jodeci begging for help.

At the precinct, Tommy the detective still trying to draw the connection between Mac being involved in Arthur’s murder scene plus Cliff’s death… somehow. I mean we know he’s right but damn yo, you ain’t got no evidence, Tommy. Let that shit goooooo man. Now Tommy gotta tell Cliff’s sister that his ass died on accident due to not setting the jack (even tho that shit got super kicked out from under him, but you ain’t heard that shit from me). Tommy then calls up Mac, who’s trying to blot the fuck outta the blood stain on his wall with mad club soda, to inform him his ass goin have to get roasted with these questions bout Arthur’s death sooner or later.

Meanwhile at anti-stockholm, Suggs offering Joni oysters and then gettin’ offended when the person he took hostage ain’t fucking with the offer then throwing crackers at her and shit like that ain’t how you don’t get ants. Then drops a roll of dimes on Mac. Like oh yeah, your mans and dem? He cheating. Oh and that Black dude that was dead at the scene? Yeap your mans was there and he killed my homie that killed his homie with my own sock. Weird trick right? This scene all types of uncomfortable man, especially when the ominous *sexual assault might or might not happen* elevator music comes into play. Thankfully, Suggs was just allowing Joni to go to the bathroom, then tied her up once again. I mean she did repeat that she was on her period to ward dude off.

Back at Buddy’s place. That shot to the leg got your mans and dem wanting to get out the business of killing folk yo. I mean, you can’t blame him, he done got mad Call of Duty kills under his belt in real time and he’s done yo. We gotta talk about how supportive and down Buddy’s mom is tho. I thinks she’s gotta know her boy out there doing GTA merk missions and is fine with it and feigning ignorance. She be watching bodies pile up on the news and taking out newspaper clippings of obituaries on some, “that’s my boy” shit.

The Broker meets up with a dude named Moses from the Harlem Nights spot. Moses was in the band that night killing it on the guitar and making the fedora look decent before the meninists got to it. He been shadowing Arthur’s wife Ruth and getting fucking depressed. He hasn’t seen Arthur’s 30k around her. Broker tells him to keep looking and to be on the look out for Mac. Fam, Moses is like, “When you say on the look out you mean what exactly cause I hear earth this muthafucka in your tone but I’m not sure soooo.” Broker had to let’em know he meant look out as in the “don’t kill this white boy” sense.

Mac got another call from Suggs and Carl comes over later on knocking at the door sayin, “Can I interest you in the wonders of Tupperware?” I fucking love this dude man! Carl has no chill or any fucks given around Quarry yo. He laughing in his face at his plan to ambush dude at the drop spot for the money. Quarry knocked the shit out of his drink and let’em know this ain’t none of their back and forth Who’s On First banter. Fam, Carl is an animal tho, “Soooooooo you goin save this girl that cheated on you? That’s what’s hot in the streets now? OKAY. Oh here’s the obituary for the dude that cuckold’d you by the way. Also, I’m into voyeur shit and sex mad intimate, imagine what that was like between them yo..oh yeah you don’t have to cause you saw it happening… over there….. in your bed….. in that room… ANYWAY, I’ll show up and blow dude’s brains out. Sound good? cool. Thanks for the shitty beer Quarry.”

Suggs returns to the hut and walks in not realizing Joni snuck a knife in to free herself, althought said knife is across the room. Son went in to see what the fuck was up and got fucking staaaaaaabed. He drops the gun and what proceeds is a straight-up old-school WWF inter-gender match man. Joni was not letting up, she took a fucking spear, a stiff right hand, and was firing back with frying pants and shit. They tumble into the swamp river outside and Joni steals dude’s boat. Joni was on that straight up Save Yourself shit and I am here for it. She rode off into the fucking sunset on some, “Fuck this shit. I’m out.” Joni girl you can write a book on that shit. I’d read it. Joni then treks through the fucking hundred acre woods and comes upon a fishing store. Now me myself I was SCREAMING, nah fuck that shit run. Suggs goin find you. Joni was on her survivor shit, she called up Mac and told him her location.

Mac arrived lookin as shocked at the rest of us watching like…wait you freed your damn self? None of us saw that shit coming and I am here for it. Joni is fucking shocked but when she leaves she gets the guard dog some water with his thirsty ass. What’s next is the most awkward car ride ever, I mean, when your wife been kidnapped the “I’m asking if you’re okay but I really mean were you sexually assaulted” convo is rough. Joni is like nah, but since we goin there, who’s this red head you diggin out tho? That shit went from Hostel, to Prison Break, to some grimy reality television in a matter of like 20 minutes yo. Mac arrives at the new car sales lot, which is a front for the Broker’s operation. Mac gives Carl back the ransom money they provided (after some hazard pay), gets a new whip and then takes Joni on the lamb so that Suggs can be hunted down by the Broker’s goon squad.

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  • Omar Holmon is a content editor that is here to make .gifs, obscure references, and find the correlation between everything Black and Nerdy.

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  • Evil Ninja (@EvilNinjaX24)

    I was mad impressed with Joni’s fight and escape, but then she got on that “how dare you cheat on ME?” bullshit. I really can’t wait until those two have a nice sit-down convo about some serious subjects.

  • PerditaPHenry

    Joni had her moments… but I still don’t like her ass.

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