The Flash Recap: The Darkness and The Light

Season 2/ Episode 5 / The CW

And you say…Earth 2? We open up at the doppelganger STAR Labs of Earth 2 as this world’s Harrison Wells is about to unveil his latest invention, which is basically an Apple Watch that detects metahumans. Jay Garrick shows up uninvited as fuck to let everyone know Well’s particle accelerator is the reason metahumans even exist. Everyone is talkin that shit amongst themselves in the crowd as, Jay again tells Harrison to fess up to atone and work with him to stop Zoom.

Wells whispers to his daughter, “Watch how I flip this shit on him. Oh you want my help cause I’M THE BEST….TECH ENGINEER IN THE FUCKIN’ GAME right now. You’re the superhero tho, so do the job no one is paying you a god damn thing for and stop Zoom yourself.” Man, how you goin’ tell a hero workin’ pro bono out of his own good heart that they suck at their non benefits having ass job? Wells is fucking coooooold.

At Earth 1 STAR Labs Cisco and Caitlin meet Earth 2 Wells. They’re hesitant to trust them but he assures them, he isn’t Earth 1 Wells (who was actually Eobard Thawne). E2 Wells don’t give a fuuuuuck about the folks that got merked by “Wells 1.0”

He ain’t here to learn names, he just wants to help Barry stop Zoom. Wells is finally taking responsibility and is going to help out. Tensions are high and things are gettin cray, luckily Joe West swings by, surely he can be the level headed one here in dealing with E2 Wells. Hey Joe We- Whoa! WHOA! WHOOOOOOOA!

YOOOOO LET IT BE KNOWN JOE WEST IS THE REALEST MUTHA FUCKA IN ANY MULTIVERSE! My man ain’t even have to look twice before lettin’ the nina ring on E2 Wells, He called him collect just to make sure he was gettin’ charged. WHY HE BUST THREE SHOTS OFF THE STRENGTH THO?! E2 Wells is like. “I really just came over here to help with Zoom… and play some PS4 cause it ain’t out in my world yet, and I’m feeling really attacked right now.” Barry has to talk Joe down on the side. He finds out Joe knew this Earth 2 Wells around. They’e both having a hard time keeping their gators down around him. Joe goes to warn Iris, He shows up at her work and hands her a piece and I’m not talking a piece of candy.

Joe West: There’s a doppelganger of Wells here now. Shits Weird, you know what to do.
Iris: Alright, I’ll scratch the serial number off when I get back to the office.

Barry and Cisco run into Patti at Jitters. She overhears them talkin’ bout time travel and asks Barry if she wants to help fill out a police report about shooting a big ass shark that was about to eat Flash. Barry says, he can’t cause he’s got to science (or wash the smell of fish sticks off him). Cisco calls him out and tells him he’s got to go for it. When Barry asks Cisco when the last time he pulled a “return of the mack” and got a number. Cisco goes for the Cashier at Jitters (who we know is going to be Hawkgirl on Legends of Tommorow)

Cashier: How can I help you?
Cisco: Yeah I want some Coffee, nah-I don’t- What I do want, consensually gotta let that be known off the bat, isssss

Cisco: Cool. That is cool, I’m going to go over to that corner if it looks like I’m crying or having a vision or something, I’m not that’s just how I laugh on the inside. You enjoy your day.

Cisco then has another Vibe and spots this week’s breacher robbing a bank. He tells Barry who hurries over just in time to run into her. The thief manipulates light and must be a Smash Bros. fan as she got away from Barry using a Down + Smash attack.

Back at STAR Labs Wells informs everyone that they’re dealing with Dr. Light. A small time thief that got the power to channel light from Stars. Cisco is like, “ah shit that’s cool.” But Wells gotta be a jerk, “Actually hot since Stars burn at-” which got Cisco fed up, “You know Wells might’ve been evil and didn’t give us benefits”…

Jay Garrick storms in shoutin’, “Wells?! You dick!” Cisco noddin in the back like, “Told you so”. Caitlin brought Jay in and it confirmed that he knew this muh fucka Wells. Wells was just talkin’ that shit on Jay tho, “Oh. You’re alive? Thought you were dead. Cause your trash as a speedster. Look Barry go get Dr. Light then we’ll use her as bait to lure in Zoom.” Jay is not about this plan, “Yo, don’t do it. Yall ain’t ready for Zoom and Dr. Light is chill. She just about the bread she won’t hurt anyone.” Wells also finds out what Earth 1 “Wells” did to Cisco with the whole stabbing thing. My man straight up laaaaaaaaaaaghs in his face! E2 Wells is a straight asshole and so hilarious about it.

They track down Light at yet another bank. Barry is trying to reason with her on some chill shit. “Hey, lets turn the ALL OF THE LIGHTS down, you must be a big fan of that Kanye song right? Yeah? Cool. Cool. How bout we get you off of team Zoom? You can come get your jubilee on with us. Yeah, It’ll be great totally low key and anonymous.”

You’d think that everyone would be use to the doppelgangers by now, right? Anyhow she freaks from Barry knowing her name and hits her signature Down + Smash move again, this time blinding Barry. Barry is back at STAR Labs and is informed he’ll be blind for about 6 hours. Which sucks because earlier he finally took Patti up on her offer for a date and didn’t wanna cancel. He’s more worried that Dr. Light will try to kill their Linda Park. Jay swears she isn’t a killer but he’s going to keep watch over Earth One Linda Park just in case with Caitlin.

Luckily Iris stops by, has her freak out from seeing Wells, and talks to Barry about being fine with the whole mom situation before convincing him to still go on his date…by utilizing Cisco. Cisco gives Barry the Raybans and an ear piece. He directs him via the camera in the glasses. Barry better than me man, I can’t have any of my friends navigate me through a date where I am blind. They would just be MST3k’ing and color commentating on the entire evening. Cisco is a true wing man, he really kept it together during their date… mmmm for the most part, as Patti started to mention having a certain reputation with the men in her life

Patti of course figures out that Barry is blind (he makes up an excuse) but it’s cool and they finally get to kissin. Meanwhile as Jay Garrick is telling Caitlin how he’s boys with Earth 2 Aquaman, Dr. Light straight up Dark Knight flips the truck they’e staking out in at Linda Park’s job. She strolls up in there ready to kill Linda Park but she accidentally (ehhhh loosely using that) kills the Editor-In-Chief instead which made Iris take out the burner and get her fist person shooter on.

I dunno why she didn’t lick another shot to finish the job but Jay runs in and Dr. Light hits FOR THE THIRD TIME her signature Down + Smash attack to blow everyone back and escape. Barry and Patti’s second good night kiss (you know to make sure the first one really stuck) gets interrupted as they are both called to the scene. Linda is rather freaked out after having just seen her stylish doppelganger merk her Editor-In-Chief as she still had a piece she needed him to sign off on, which focused around the handling of diversity and representation in television ahhh it’s good to run. He’d be cool with it. Barry takes Light’s helmet back to Star Labs hoping it can track Dr. Light somehow.

At Star Labs, Jay apologizes as Light had never killed before (but apparently flipped over a van he was inside of a couple times) he wasn’t expecting that and WELLS GETS IN JAY’S FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. He’s up in his grill talkin, “bout,

“You got mad excuses with your Just For Men hair coloring using ass Jay. You’re trash, a dude is dead now because you’re trash. You haven’t been running to find Zoom for 2 years you been hiding from him cause you shook on the starting line BOI! YOU AIN’T NO PHIL JACKSON OF THE SPEED FORCE! BARRY’S BETTER THAN YOU, YOU AIN’T EVEN FIT TO RUN ON A TREADMILL IN A PLANET FITNESS GYM ANYWHERE IN THE MULTIVERSE CAUSE NOT ONLY ARE YOU TRASH YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP GREEK YOGURT EATIN COWARD.”

JAY WAS FED THE FUCK UP!I don’t care what planet your from, no on disrespects the Gawd of The Golden Age Jay Garrick with that slander. He hit Harrison Wells straight in the privilege but why Wells come back with that classic Street Fighter ’92 Ryu light jab hard right comboooooo?!? They were fighting for a while before Barry broke them up. Barry lookin’ at’em both like, Yall just goin fight up in a Laboratory? For real? That’s what yall do. Okay. Barry takes Wells aside who is still talkin shit on Jay and hypein’ Barry. When he discovers that they have Light’s helmet Wells brings it to Cisco and tells him to use his weird powers to find Light, “and don’t even try to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about because I got those receipts on your ass”

Cisco reveals why HE DIDN’T WANNA TELL ANYBODY YET WELLS!… Due to the fear of maybe turning evil. E2 Wells didn’t give a shit about that. He kept forcing Cisco to try and trigger his ability and with each failed attempt turned more and more into Bobby Knight. He straight shoves Light helmet into Cisco and he sees that she is trying to skip town at the train station. Barry runs over but without a plan to defeat her. Jay says to try and blind side her, Wells is like fuck that, run so fast that you make mirages of yourself. [Yo, why couldn’t Jay Suggest that shit? He taught the kid to fucking channel lightening and you know he is a fucking speedster? You trying make me believe he’s a one trick pony? Yall better stop makin’ it seem like Garrick is trash, show runners.] Barry tries and catches that light blast to the chest some’n fierce. That’s when Jay tells puts on Cake’s “The Distance” and tells Barry he’s fast as fuck, faster than him even, and he got that Flash insignia on his chest for a reason, It’s time Dr. Light finds out just what that reason is.

Apparently showing someone what The Flash is made of involves shoving them into a wall as if it was a WWF turnbuckle. Okay. Barry is back at Star Labs, Dr. Light is secure and he is ready to jump ahead and fight Zoom. Jay Garrick straight dumbs out on everybody, why he start talkin bout Zoom like he was the most ruthless battle rapper of all time? “Yall can’t be serious. Yo you might be faster than me but you ain’t ready. Zoom is a fucking animal. His shit talk game? Crazy! You don’t want it with Zoom yet, you ain’t done enough side missions to face him as the final boss. What we need to be doin is figuring out why Wells over here suddenly wanna join in on the Co-op mode. I can’t be here and support you facing Zoom now man. I’m out.. Wells, eat a dick.” These folks better start listening to the Hermes 50 cap gawd when he speaks man. Jay knows whats up.

Cisco is back at Jitters and ordering from the cashier again, “I know this is probably awkward for you, even more so for me I just want the coffee. Not trying to be one of those dudes that can’t take no. I get it.” Then she hit Cisco with the, “You sure coffee is all you want?” He looked around for the cameras to make sure he wasn’t getting pranked before sayin, “You’re fucking with me right? and not in the cool I fucks with you way, because for the love of Jerry Lawson (look him up) coffee isn’t all I want.”

CISCO + HAWKGIRL?! I AM SETTING SAIL ON THAT SHIP! Caitlin is sad that Jay is gone but Barry knows he will be back because that’s what real heroes do. They show up at game time for the winning alley oop. Now there’s only one order of biz left. A nickname for Cisco…

It looks like things are going be smooth sailing from here. Barry is going to face Zoom, Earth 2 Wells will help, Jay will come back around, and it’ll all be good. What could go wrong? Aaaaaaaaasiiiide from the fact that Zoom has Wells daughter held captive on Earth 2 where Wells may or may not have abandoned her. Yeah, Jay wasn’t lyin when he said Wells had secrets.

Let’s see if we can find out some next week.

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  • Omar Holmon is a content editor that is here to make .gifs, obscure references, and find the correlation between everything Black and Nerdy.

  • Show Comments

  • Andrew Newman-Anderson

    This is the reason I watch the flash. For these reviews. Hilarious!

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