Season: 1 / Episode: 7 / HBO
**Spoilers riding Hector into the sunset**
Previously on Westworld:
Maeve entered the void, nobody cared what William and Dolores were up to, Westworld employees who actually do their work get got, Lee angled for a pink slip by letting his little pink slip, Tessa Thompson showed up to shut shit down, and the internet agreed that none of these folks is safe.
— Black Nerd Problems (@BlkNrdProblems) November 7, 2016
We jump immediately into a flashback of Bernard and his son, Charlie. Bernard’s reading Alice in Wonderland (y’all real on the nose sometimes) to his son, who’s recovering from what looks like brain surgery. It’s all really sweet and Bernard’s being a great dad then Charlie flatlines mid-question. Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t want to be sobbing 10 minutes into this episode? Writers say TOO BAD! Bernard wakes up in his big old empty bed and just to turn the loneliness up to 9000, looks at a happy picture of he and Charlie. Yeah, keep sobbing. Writers Halley Gross and Jonathan Nolan (also co-creator) ain’t done with you yet. Hydrate and let’s keep going.
Cut to Bernard questioning everyone’s favorite bandito, Hector, to make sure he hasn’t picked up any information about the world outside of the park. Hector runs an all-clear, possibly because he’s a newer model. Another employee shows up to give Bernard a status update and ya mans finally asks about Elsie like she hadn’t disappeared into the park hours ago on a sting mission. Bernard, you the least suspicious supervisor on the face of the earth. Apparently, according to the system, Elsie started her leave that day which y’all KNOW is a lie. Bernard…keep not doing your job.
On the road with Lawrence, William is having a little too much fun. Dolores still got her eye on the prize even without knowing what that prize is. Lawrence, trying to come for the favorite character spot, recites the Hoe Motto: I remain loyal to me, myself, and I and the rest of y’all can kiss my ass. This is why I love you, Lawrence. Dude ain’t even take off his hat since his promotion. William’s convinced he’s just tagging along with Dolores but Lawrence is like “Nah, dude. You here cause you like this killing ‘n shit.” Shook, William sits there silent because if there’s one thing William hates, it’s being called on his bullshit. He’s saved from thinking too hard when Dolores notices the plethora of heads on pikes outside the window. They’re in Ghost Nation territory so shit’s gotta go on lockdown.
Back at HQ, Bernard tries to call Elsie, then search for her in the park. Bernard. Really, dude? You don’t WANT to find her. You know exactly where she was last. She told you! Bernard goes for a little walk and runs into Theresa. Turns out she’s more hurt by their breakup than she wanted to let on but tries to play it cool. They’re also looking for kinks in every department so I guess everybody’s gonna start doing their jo…ahahahahahaha! Sorry, I couldn’t say that with a straight face.
classmate: why dont muslims condemn things
me: *goes home makes 712 page long list of Muslims Condemning Things with sources*
me: fight me pic.twitter.com/sDhwUMIAK1
— Heraa Hashmi (@caveheraa) November 12, 2016
Theresa heads up to the personal suites and overhears somebody either screwing or scrapping. Turns out they’re getting it all the way in when Charlotte answers the door butt butterball ass naked and still coming down off her orgasm. Stleirhersfjeijsljghsieljskfj Sorry, my brain shorted out right quick…what were we talking about? Oh, right. Charlotte’s been taking Hector for a test spin and invited Theresa over for the most uncomfortable (honestly, this would be my birthday wish) staff meeting in company history. Turns out the board doesn’t give a single fuck about any of the employees down here at Westworld. Ford is a liability and they want to prove his incompetence so he’ll have to step down. They plan a “demo” to show how dangerous Hosts are because “The gods require a blood sacrifice”. Remember that shit. They finna kill somebody.
Maeve wakes up and heads to work for the first time post upgrade with a whole new level of zen. She catches herself giving an old line to Clementine. While Maeve is in “Hold the fuck up” mode, Clem gives us her backstory. Turns out her family has a useless farm and Clem became a working girl so she could send money back to them. Maeve looks at her like “why the fuck did they give you that dismal ass backstory”? Maeve, I’m with you but I KNOW Lee ain’t shit. Suddenly every Host in the Mariposa freezes except Maeve as the retrieval crew comes in. They’re picking “her” up and the pronoun game makes Maeve think they’re talking about her. Homegirl grabs a knife and is ready to cut a bish. But anyone who’s watched any drama ever knows who they’re really looking for…and they walk Clementine out of the guest area.
— Black Nerd Problems (@BlkNrdProblems) November 14, 2016
Dolores and William get a little quiet time to talk on their “train full of explosives riding through scalping territory.” Dolores shoots her shot but William curves her with a bombshell. He’s engaged back in the real world and he plans to honor that commitment. That decision lasts all of two minutes before he decides he gotta let Dolores smash. What follows is some romantic love-making that we get crossfaded on. Y’all not trying to make up for that boring old orgy are you?
Back in Behavior, Charlotte and Theresa gather Ford and Bernard for a presentation. Apparently the Reveries update has been leaving residual memories in the Hosts. To prove this they decide to let another Host (coded to read as human) beat the shit out of Clementine. What the fuck, y’all?? They reset her and ready it to go again but Clem said never no more and bashes dude’s head in. She doesn’t respond to voice commands so head of security has to put a bullet in her. I’ll be honest, y’all, this one hurts because I love Clem (and Angela Sarafyan made sure you felt every visceral moment of this scene, whew, my heart). Charlotte wants all the hosts scrapped and rebuilt. Oh, and Bernard is fired unless he has anything to say. But Bernard ain’t no snitch so he just takes that L. Bernard, you just took the L for Ford’s crusty ass! Bernard stands there like boo-boo the fool while Theresa and Ford refuse to make eye contact. Then the long walk to clean out his desk. Damn, Bernard. Well wasn’t like he was doing his job anyway.
On the Midnight Train to Nowhere, William has an enlightening morning after because I guess Dolores got that good good. Dolores sketches out this wild detailed canyon and river. But somebody hits the brakes on our joyride. The Confederados put rocks on the track to set-up an ambush. They light the train car up with their machine gun and someone rides out with the white flag. It’s Slim, who took one for the team two episodes back, so you know what that means. Lawrence lights that shit up like the badass he is and a horse is lost in the process. You done good, horse. Rest in pieces. Our heroes ride off. A few unnamed extras get shot by the Confederados before the Confederados get taken out by Ghost Nation soldiers. Lawrence, William, and Dolores ride until they hit a canyon, the same one Dolores sketched out in her post-coital bliss. Lawrence asks William to come join the war effort but William’s sticking with his bae.
Sidebar: Is Ford trying to replicate the maze? To see what Arnold found or programmed into the first generation hosts? Also bye, Lawrence. I’mma miss your smart ass.
Maeve wakes up in Repairs and scares the shit out of Felix. He sends his new partner out and Maeve bullies him into finding where they’re holding Clementine. Felix walks her through the lower floor and they find Sylvester prepping Clem for deactivation. Sylvester spots Maeve, sees the murder in her eyes, and still, STILL feels bold enough to lobotomize Clementine. Y’all, I’ll never be over this scene for the rest of the season. Clementine Pennyfeather deserved better, HBO! SHE DESERVED BETTER!!!!
Bernard, still on the property after being fired like shit, decides to come clean to Theresa about his distrust of Ford and takes her off to show her something. Ioknow about this, gurl…
Back in repairs, Maeve is so pissed, they put a robe on her. Sylvester, bold af earlier, suddenly can’t say his shit with his chest. But that’s alright because Maeve is ready to bounce and Felix and Sylvester are gonna walk her off the premises. Sylvester says they can’t because security probably will kill them. Maeve says if they don’t, she’ll definitely kill them. So they make a choice.
Bernard confesses everything he knows to Theresa in a high-speed elevator ride and takes her to Ford’s Cabin in the Woods. Only problem? Shit’s empty. No one’s home. Theresa finds a door that leads to an underground lab where a new Host is slowly being assembled. She goes over to the worktable and flips through a stack of Host draft sketches and BERNARD IS FUCKING ONE OF THEM! Bernard’s a goddam host y’all. At this point, I refer to my notes:
-He FUCKING CALLED IT! Bernard is a host!
-WTF?! WTF?! WTF?! WTF?! WTF?! WTF?!
-Ford ain’t shit
-they set you up, girl
-that’s cold blooded
-that sleep is death. That’s what Hamlet meant
Robot Bernard bashes Theresa’s head in on Ford’s command and the two of them head back upstairs. I guess Theresa’s instinct was right when Charlotte mentioned a Blood sacrifice…smh. I’m gon miss you, gurl, but not as much as I’m gonna miss Clementine I’M SO HURT!!
Trompe L’Oeil: (french) deceive the eye. As always, this park is fucked.
See y’all for Episode 8: Trace Decay. Tweet with us Sundays at 9pm on #SetsInTheWest