Alita: Battle Angel Aka “Fantastic Hands and Where To Catch Them” Trailer Review

That new Alita: Battle Angel trailer just dropped, and my goodness, it looks dope as all hell! We get that classic dystopian exposition that leads us into this “new world” with ‘new rules’ and ‘new people’ doing the same old thing, really.

In all this ‘new’ disarray, an elder finds a relic from the old world, a doll (a cyborg with a robotic body and an organic human brain) with really big eyes. Y’all know what it is, when someone finds something old and valuable in a future dystopia, you get some high roller in shades with a lot of guns involved. This time around, it’s Mahershala Ali doing the Birdman hand rub in a flying limousine! The hype for that alone is high enough, but then Alita gets chased down and the elder who rebuilt her is in trouble!

Homegirl Alita is in the mirror now, hitting the Ip Man punch combos and bodying everyone they send her way. Mind you, she’s doing all of this with porcelain fists!

In comes the love interest, who wants to show her something he found that just so happens to be just what she needs. What does she need? A metallic body!

At this point, they should just change the title to “Fantastic Hands and Where To Catch Them”; because Alita gets a black trenchcoat and goes all ‘Neo and Trinity in the lobby’ on EVERYTHING.

Throw in a little mystery regarding why the elder knows so much about Alita, an edict issued by Mahershala’s character to his goonies, and some more CGI fight scenes; and you get a fantastic James Cameron trailer with some Robert Rodriguez badassery! All in a movie that sourced from a brilliant manga, anime, and OVA series by Yukito Kishiro in the early 90s.

Alita: Battle Angel drops on December 21st from 20th Century Fox (aka Disney).

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