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Banshee Season: 3/ Episode: 4 / Cinemax

Aight, name the hardest place on Earth right now. If it ain’t Banshee, PA. I. DON’T. WANT. TO. HEAR. IT. What you goin say? Oh, what about Gotham City? Have yall seen whatFox Network done did to Gotham City? Sun, The town of Pawnee from Parks and Recs is harder than Gotham right now. The only cities coming close to Banshee are Detroit, cause in the movie The Crow that shit was so hard they didn’t even make up a fictional city. They were like fuck it this the D, and Metro City from Final Fight. When the Mayor of your city is a former pro wrestler that’s walking around giving gang members 360 degree pile drivers while in green overalls, it’s time to fucking move. But don’t you move to Banshee… cause it’s crazy in the B right now. How crazy?

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Our favorite sheriff has got some shitty luck, man. Two episodes in a row, Hood finds himself having a staring contest with a glock 9. Siobhan out here making Hood do a retina scan with the nine. She knows he isn’t who he says he is. You don’t hear me tho, the muthafucking law knows Lucas Hood aint even qualified to be a mall cop. Siobhan telling Hood “There is no you” is the fucking hard shit, right before she tells him to get the fuck out. She spends the majority of the episode staring at the dime she could drop on Hood. We got no clue if she going to make that collect call or not at this point. She got the Hood sweating like she going through his Google search history.

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Hood: I can explain! lemme juuuuuust clear these cookies first.

It’s double the team up action as we see Job and Sugar stealing an algorithm as part of their major plan to get that money from the mercs. It was great seeing Sugar in the field with Job. The chemistry between the way these two characters annoy each other is hilarious to me. They need to cut an album together.

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Sugar & Job Present: Knee Deep In Shit’s Creek vol. 3.

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Things take a turn for the worse once Hood informs them that it may be time to close up shop since his secret is out. Job is 5 types of fed up at this point. My man Job ready to bounce, no encore either, he unplugging the amps and packing away the instruments. Hood finds Deva to do a bit of a heart to heart and tell her she matters to him.

Meanwhile at Proctor’s, someone snitched informed Kai that Tommy Littlestone body is being released. Proctor sends Clay “My Face Messy But My Fists Nice” Burton down to Heisman that whole procedure. Rebecca calls shotgun on this one and joins in and make this a Co-op mission. Dude, it goes GTA real quick as Rebecca takes the wheel and goes 2 Fast 2 Furious in a game of chicken with the redbones carrying Tommy’s body. Clayton in the passenger seat not saying a damn thing except letting that seatbelt clack. Rebecca wins as she gives even less fucks and we see the van tipped over and fucked up with gasoline leaking. Clay hands Rebecca back her lighter letting her know she got the juice now. Team Proctor just sent a smoke signal middle finger to the Redbone gang.

"And when the cops came thru me and Clay stood next to a burnt down house..."
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“And when the cops came thru me and Clay stood next to a burnt down house…”

We see Gordon start getting his shit together. My man out here jogging, getting his P90x on, eaten two raw eggs in the morning before hitting the heavy bag with a picture of Proctor on it. Ya boy getting his mind right, money right, ready for law. Now when I say ready for Law, I mean ready to bring the law down on Proctor. Yeah, Gordon getting his Jim Gordon on and putting the city on his back. Meanwhile our girl Carrie? Bruh, Carrie is not about this basic folk life. Our favorite badass is playing hooky from work, chilling in a dive bar.

A dude that clearly didn’t get called back on his Sons of Anarchy audition starts hitting on her. Carrie drinks his ass under the table and was going to leave but when bruh started talkin that meninist “whats owed to me shit”…. Yall know how Carrie get when that male privilege hits her system. She puts the manicure on dude (as well as the bathroom sink), manifest destiny’s his bike, flips off the police and proceeds on a mini chase with the law. Carrie out here reenacting the Rough Ryders video this episode…till she ran out of gas that is. That’s when Hood comes through and tells her the jig is up.

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Hood: Nice wheelie back on route 6 by the way.

Our boy Hood done tied up all his loose ends and is bout to skip town…. but the irony of Kendrick Lamar’s “The Jig is up” playing on his satellite radio had Hood started letting them flash back fly. He was nodding his head to the beat thinking to himself about how much he can’t stand Kai Proctor. We saw the exact moment where it seemed that The Nature Boy Ric Flair came into Hood’s head to hype him up cause Hood was having a haaaaaaaaard time holding his timbs (he dont fuck with gators) down.

This is the one time I actually felt bad for Proctor. My dude just got word that his moms about to die, next thing he knows Sherriff Hood stops by the club to make fun of his hair cut as he always does at 8:17 pm every night but instead Hood legit pulled the gun on him out of nowhere! Proctor’s like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck is this? I was all up in my spot in minding my damn business I ain’t even do nothing (technically)?” Dude this fight? THIS FUCKING FIGHT? Duuuuude, the entire time I’m thinking that Hood is imagining himself doing this. There’s no way he running up in Proctor’s club shooting at him, fighting with him on the stripper stage, getting rock bottomed off the stage by Proctor (THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPPENED), swinging a fucking buzz saw at his head. I’m not really seeing this.

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Oh this shit is not for play play? Hood done refused to even acknowledge any fucks

Hood was a straight up asshole about killing this guy and I looooooooooooooved it. Nola Longshadow looking down from heaven sayin, “Get’em Hood.”. Yo, why Nola had to go through Clay and Hood just run up on Proctor like he had a cheat code to get pass Clay. Anyhow, Proctor almost rear-naked choked the bowels outta Hood but Hood got on top and was about to literally drop that hammer to Proctor’s head when Brock stops him and arrests Proctor for assaulting an officer. Bruh, Proctor’s face? When that shit went down?

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Proctor: Oh Word? You just going arrest me for getting my ass beat? No, no that makes perfect sense.

Siobhan shows up at the precinct telling Hood she will keep is secret and as Hood trying to tell her she was real to him… we then proceed to get interrupted by Chayton Littestone outside the fucking precinct loaded up with more guns than your favorite rapper’s grimiest verse. Chayton outside like, “Heeeeey guys, Um yeah, I know you’re going through an ordeal right now buuuuuut remember when y’all killed my brother?” and proceeds to let them AK’s spray, Nina’s ring, and choppas bang out! Chayton got a fucking arsenal brass symphony unloading on the sheriff’s department.

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Chayton: I need more cowbell! There it issssss!

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Yooooooooooooooo! The town population in Banshee goin’ from 100-0 reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal quick.

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  • Omar Holmon is a content editor that is here to make .gifs, obscure references, and find the correlation between everything Black and Nerdy.

  • Show Comments

  • Nick

    am I wrong for NOT wanting Proctor and Lucas to kill each other – I REALLY like them both. Chayton Littestone – now THAT brotha is a problem – that’s who they BOTH should be focusing their energy on. Greg Yaitanes shot out a tweet “Banshee will never be the same after next Friday” as if to suggest it has been some kina warm, cozy Mayberry, R.F.D. SERIOUSLY! I don’t know how much I can take!

  • Macho Man

    Drop elbows from the ceiling with th Banshee review

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