Season: 5/ Episode 2 / NBC
Two mild mannered accountant-types are in an office and one is freaking out: nearly half a million dollars is missing! And it’s Portland so you know a wesen was involved. Freaking out accountant, Beau Childs, is one part “oh gotdamn, I’m ‘bout to lose my job over this shit” and one part “Not me, motherfucker, call the cops, call a forensic accountant because I got plans that don’t involve being fired for some shit I didn’t do.”
Calm, but slightly aghast, accountant Paul Wemlinger is like, “Oh, you don’t say?!” So… I think you know he was the thief. He woged and ripped Mr. Childs apart before trying to earn that night time Emmy with his 911 call.
Now the question is, with Nick sidelined, with Hank and Wu clued into the wesen world, with Trubel gone, how is this investigation going to work?
Cut to Adalind sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed with lil’ Kelly on her chest and Nick is in the corner staring off into space. I can only assume he’s staring off into the ether reliving that fateful day he met Maury Povich. Rosalee calls him out into the hallway.
The whole crew is there and Nick reveals that Chavez is dead. Of course everyone is like, “Dude, you really gotta stop killing people.” Nick is all, “No, seriously, this time it wasn’t me. Before she died she gave me this chess piece knight that belonged to Trubel.” So Trubel is alive? (What about Juliette? I need receipts on the death of a hexenbeist).
Rosalee stays at the hospital while Nick, Hank, Monroe, and Wu go back to the shady warehouse where Chavez was killed, but all of the bodies are gone. Just like at Nick’s house. Monroe has the common sense to be like, “So you’re saying that someone cleaned all this up? Yeah, well, I’m good on being here waiting on these people who can obviously dispose of multiple corpses like it’s nothing.”
Outside, Nick sees that someone has painted over the marking that was on the outside wall. The graffiti claw mark is gone. They all hustle into their cars and, a block away and unseen, Martin steps out of the shadows.
Meanwhile, Adalind is at the hospital on some PTSD/y’all stole my baby before nightmare shit. I’m not mad at her for that. She could have duct taped that baby to her chest and I’d be nodding, like “Yep. Reasonable response.”
But what is going to happen to Adalind (and Kelly)? She was living with the Royals but that’s over. Nick tells Rosalee that he’ll take them back to his place. Awkward.
Because Nick is still on enforced leave (though in my head he’s on paternity leave because if Wesen can exist, so can a healthcare system that cares about families), Hank gets partnered with Polk, who we met briefly last week as the pawn/detective who “solved” the Jack the Ripper copycat case. Hank is all “Naw, bruh.” But Renard is not hearing it. Hank is all, “This noob don’t know anything about anything.” Renard essentially shrugs like “It’s good to be king.”
Of course, they get the mild-mannered-accountant murder. They interview the killer who looked both dapper and harmless in his blue V-neck sweater. My dude is really putting in this MFA in Drama work as he recounts seeing two masked men running from Childs’ office. Through his tears, he suggests they talk to Betty, Childs’ assistant. They do, but she’s a dead end too. Hank can’t let go of the feeling that Wemlinger did this (because he did.)
Polk, of course, dismisses him as a suspect because he’s 105 pounds dripping wet and Childs’ body looks like a pack of crazed ferrets went to town on his neck. Hank is on some, “It’s hard to know what’s inside somebody.”
Monroe and Rosalee are at Nick’s place setting up a makeshift nursery for the Grimmenbeist. There must have been procreating pheromones in the air because Monroe and Rosalee were exchanging looks like, “You want to use a condom?” “I don’t know, do you want to use a condom.” Finally Rosalee says, “Someday.” Hmmm.
The new family shows up, Monroe gives it to Nick straight, “There have been approximately 753 murders in this house. You need to get the fuck out of Dodge.” While Nick contemplates the real estate market, Adalind and Kelly settle in.
Nick and Adalind are in the middle of the world’s most awkward/domestic, getting to know you routine when Hank calls. He convinced Polk to bring Wemlinger in for questioning and needs Nick to use his Grimmy sense to figure out who/what Wemlinger is. But before that could happen, Wu is like “Regardless of whether or not this guy is a Wesen, he’s definitely an embezzler known Simon Kincaid.” Polk, late to the party, is like “This could be our guy.”
Hank gets physical with Wemlinger/Kincaid during the interrogation trying to get him to woge and it works. Nick sees him for who/what he is. But when Polk realizes that Nick is there, he gets his feelings hurt. “You- you’re seeing another detective, Hank? You don’t do a partner like that.”
But it doesn’t matter because U.S. Marshals show up with a warrant and whisk Wemlinger/Kincaid away. Nick tries to warn the agents, but it’s not like he can go into detail about it. So they brush him off. Nick decides that it’d be a good idea to follow them… from Portland to Sacramento. Renard is like, “Didn’t I bench you? Didn’t you just make enemies at the FBI? I’ll make some calls, but GTFH.”
Meanwhile, Wemlinger/Kincaid uses the old “I gotta pee” deploy at the grimiest backroom I’ve seen in a minute. He woges, of course, and kills both marshals. When Hank finds out, he can’t stop side-eyeing Renard like, “Had to send Nick home, right?”
While Nick is on his way back to his mansion of scrubbed away bloodstains, Rosalee is already there checking up on Adalind and Kelly. This is the requisite girlfriends gossiping scene. Adalind reveals her fears that she’ll revert to her former Hexenbeist self and Nick will… not be happy. Turns out, the suppressant isn’t permanent and Adalind just wants to be a good, normal mom. They’re about a minute away from the pajamas dancing scene when there’s a knock at the door and of course it’s the FBI.
Chavez is still dead/missing and Nick was the last person who stormed into her office yelling at her so, yeah, they’re there for him. When he shows up, he concocts a story about Chavez trying to pin Weston Steward’s murder on him and his ensuing indignation. No one believes him, but no one can prove otherwise yet, so the FBI agents leave.
Adalind comes downstairs and lets loose her fears: if Nick disappears, she’ll be broke, unemployed, and homeless raising a baby who could be any combination of human, hexenbeist, and grimm (I’m team #teamgrimmenbeist). And she aint wrong. Nick’s phone, AKA Hank’s tool for interrupting pre-kiss moments between Adalind and Nick, rings.
Hank is calling from the dirtiest garage toilet in Washington where he and Polk are looking at the mangled remains of the Marshals. And where Hank sees the uprising mark. At this point Nick is essentially like “A Grimm gotta Grimm.” So he goes with Hank to original crime scene to talk to the forensic accountants. Wemlinger had been embezzling for two years and the deceased’s kindly assistant, Betty, seems to be on the receiving end of Wemlingers I-just-stole-some-shit bimonthly 2:30am calls.
Nick, Hank, and Wu show up at Betty’s place and interrupt Wemlinger at the computers. He grabs Betty and threatens to rip her throat out. They chase Wemlinger and leave Betty in her apartment. Um. Well, okay, if that’s how you want to play it.
So while the three cops chase (and ultimately shoot) Wemlinger, Betty starts deleting files left and right. They go back to the apartment and realize they’ve been duped. The audience can see Sean Renard’s picture flash across one of her computer screens, but Grimm and friends can’t. Then old girl screams something in latin (or other old timey language) along the lines of “Free the Hidden” and Thelma and Louises herself out the window. So she’s dead. Wemlinger is dead. The files are deleted. The money is gone. And we still don’t know who’s been tagging up Portland with the Wesen Uprising symbol.
It’s been a long day of illegally Grimming and disobeying direct orders from his superiors, so Nick goes home to his Grimmenbeist kid and not-quite-girlfriend-but-definitely-sharing-some-sexual-tension co-parent.
The last teaser we see is Martin, fresh from the shadows, steps out of a prison cell where he’s been beating/being beaten by some growling beast.
We still need answers: Is Martin part of the Uprising? Will Adalind give up her powers to go to PTA meetings? Is Juliette in that cell with Martin? Where’s Trubel? Is this life of adventuring getting to be too much for Monroe and Rosalee? Can anyone, ever, at any point in time trust Sean Renard?