How Did We Let Jurassic World Get In Our Wallets For A Dumber Version Of The Original?

Just know that if you paid to see Jurassic World in the theater, I’m not judging you. Well, not too harshly. I did rent this jawn on Vudu and watched it once I had absolutely nothing else to do on a Friday night. I didn’t put on pants, go out among people that probably included some Trump supporters and sit in theater where the seats might get cleaned once…at the end of the night. But still, no harsh judgment. Now, if you walked up out of that theater thinking you saw one of the best movies action movies of the year, I’ve got some questions. How should I start this. This shit was trash. This shit was dumb as Arrow Season Three. This shit was uninspired. Or way too inspired. Let’s start another way. The original Jurassic Park debuted in 1993 based upon the Michael Crichton novel that was published three years previous to that. The movie was great then and over a decade later, it still holds up. While rife with 90s-style comedic dialogue, the discovery, and the (movie) science involved made it feel authentic and lived in. The decals on the jeeps, the computer-generated displays, and the sense of scale were all incredibly well done. This all in addition to the conclusion: man can’t control everything and/or kill everything as the survivors are forced to leave the island for good. Well, except not, considering this is the fourth Jurassic Park movie. We keep going back, yo. Both for the theater and with this gotdamn plot.

To be fair, is Jurassic World worse than Lost World or J…