March Multimedia Multiverse Madness, Semifinals 1 – Eternal Sailor Moon (1) vs. Shuri (5)

Brittany: Shuri might have the name recognition right now but Sailor Moon BEEN the realest in the game. Griot might have the spirit of Bast flowing through her but Usagi Tsukino IS the goddess of the moon. Sailor Moon got so much sauce when she says I’m Queen of Earth, the earth bows down. What’s a king to a god? What’s a proxy to a goddess? Don’t be fooled by Wakanda’s tech boom. The Moon Kingdom had all that shit AND settlements on every planet eons ago. Shuri needs the strent of the Blek Pentha to level up. You know what Sailor Moon needs? Her own muhfuckin willpower. She murkin monsters out here using only the power of love. She handing out fades to cauldron from which all evil flows with some rainbows, hearts, and moons. She breaking the time-space continuum with every attack just so she can vogue before she cremates you.

Sailor Moon been a soldier since middle school. Falling asleep in Algebra by day and catching bodies by night. She was fourteen the first time she fought somebody to the death. AND WON. Ain’t no killing Sailor Moon. She don’t die, she just takes a nap and comes back stronger. She’s like the Terminator franchise, put her down and she’s just gonna come back to bust you upside the head with an even more audacious power. Sorry, not sorry bout it. You don’t revive an entire planet and be basic. You don’t go undefeated since 1991 and be basic. YOU DON’T PROTECT A WHOLE ASS KINGDOM WHILE YOU’RE UNCONSCIOUS AND BE BASIC.

Sailor Moon will straight up Moon Dust Shuri AND the panther god she rode in on. That’s just facts.


You wanna sleep on me? Overnight?
I’m the motherf****** boss, overwrite
And when I pull up, vroom, motorbike
Now all my ****** get buck, overbite
I see them dusty-ass Filas, Levi’s
Raggedy Ann, holes in your knee-highs
I call the play, now do you see why?
These b****** calling me Manning Eli
Manning Eli, these b******calling me Manning Eli!

-Nicki Minaj

Lorenzo: Sailor Moon must’ve done one too many twirls in that transformation sequence, cuz she dizzy if she think she putting the paws to the Crowned Queen of Wakanda. The power of Griot is an ancient spiritual force that connects her with the minds of every Wakandan that has ever lived. She’s got rock hard skin, a harder than rock vibranium spear, and the ability to turn into a flock of crows that’ll be sure to smack the tiara off that toddler.

Oh, and let’s not forget about her ability to go Walking Dead and summon the strongest Wakandan warriors from beyond the grave to drag lil Selena to the underworld and back. Sailor Move Over’s Magic ain’t topping Shuri. Ballerina Becky might have the help of some space dust from that pebble in space, but Shuri is the truth. The world came from Africa, and Shuri represents Africa, so you could call her Sailor Earth. And she don’t need to do some stale dance moves to get ready for war, Shuri keep that spiritual thang on her.

You don’t want it with her. Shuri finna wax that waning Moon and snatch that charm bracelet off her like Rashad did New New.

Fighting basics by moonlight
Money moves by daylight
Throwing bows at you ON SIGHT
She is the one called Shuri, fool

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