[quote_simple]”I’m ridin’ around my city with my hand strapped on my toast
‘Cause these n**** want me dead, and I gotta make it back home.”-Meek Mill[/quote_simple]
It’s one thing to bring Samurai Jack back after years, it’s another to keep Phil Lamar on for that true to form nostalgia, but they told us it was going to be more gritty. I said good. I’m ready for it. Take a look at the times we living in, baby. I need that right now. We went from Hope (2008-2016) to Nooooope (2017-TBD) and I need that grit. Gimme that grit *smacking chest* Gimme what you think I need. Ain’t shit you can do to surprise this Black nerd right here. Go ‘head lemme see what my mans and dem Jack been going through. I WANNA SEE IT! SHOW ME! I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME! SHOW ME! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
*lying face down on the ground. Arms shaking as they push off the ground for the upper body to rise. Grime and muck all across the face. Breathes heavily with one eye open, anime style* I wasn’t ready. I thought I knew but I was so Jon Snow. My god, did y’all see that shit? Samurai Jack’s world looking like the precursor to ours after Trump and Bannon’s run. Jack’s world looking “Game over, man. Game over.” Aku has been reelected again and again for the past fifty years, y’all. Yeah, Samurai Jack been doing a bid up north for fifty years now without aging. Ya mans and dem doing a stretch for Hawaii Five-O length of years? I said Bast damn! We see Jack on his Book of Eli cosplay out here, man. Where ya mans sword at? Where the Gi at?
Our guy is out here armored up with teflon beat to the gods. You know shit is bad when Samurai Jack put the sword down and picked the choppa up. Listen to me, Samurai mutha fucking Jack is out here letting the choppa spray like Rust Cohle in True Detective. Samurai Jack out here on a gun charge now?! Samurai Jack got the fucking glock tucked on his persons, you feel me? Jack letting the oowop bop, man. Jack letting that thing rang out and bang out the side of your left ear on some Juelz Santana bang hammers shit, people! Jack is a whole ‘nother monster and I am fucking here for it and living!
This is the shit I wanna see. Lemme see my hero going through the fucking muck. Lemme see my guy Jack, the most noble, the most honorable, now having lost his way. Having lost knowing just who the fuck he is. Jack out here surviving, y’all. Aku out here winning, drinking mimosas and shit while your Samurai rationing off nuts, berries, and fruit by the fuckin’ foot. Jack feeling like all hope is lost, plus he got a bounty on his head (when the hell didn’t he doe) with an all-woman hit squad coming to collect his neck to make rent? Jack out here getting hands put on him? Is our boy down and out? Is our boy gone?! Where you at, Jack?
The real is still here, y’all. That trill is still here! This is the perfect storm: we got Jack in a no-win situation and that’s when the true potential comes out. That’s when your fave hits god mode. The Enforcer “Double A” Arn Anderson said it best, “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” (Einsten actually said it first but do you know how hard it is to make a Arn Anderson reference in this day in age?) Samurai Jack is about to get muhfucking reacquainted with himself, man. This is what we need right now. The Jack we saw from seasons 1 through 4 was a Jack living in the Silver Age. This ain’t the Silver Age no more, fam. This shit is a reflection for the times, this is kill or be killed, merk or get merked, live free or die hard, my samurai.
We’re about to see Samurai Jack survive, bleed, and scrap for his. You know Jack ain’t ’bout to let AKUUUUUU run shit. You know Jack ain’t bout to let AKUUUUUU go platinum without a feature from his sword running up in his digestive track. You know Samruai Jack is still ’bout that bushido code 187. Don’t you dare count the young shogun out. Don’t you dare doubt god. Y’all gon’ make Jack hit you with the glare. Don’t do it. When Jack hits the glare on March 11th, 2017 you know that’s your ass. You don’t want to write that check! You ain’t got the funds to cash that shit. Don’t you do it. Don’t you make that man do it.