Ode to Seto Kaiba: The Most Extra, Extravagantly Fashionable, Rich 2-D Jerk

Can you name a more rich, fabulous asshole in anime than Seto Kaiba? Who has the same skills? The same style? The incredible amount of cool, even in the face of an insurmountable amount of duress? No one can defeat this man in terms of sky-rocketing self-esteem.

And do you remember his ability to rock a trench coat/cape mix? Do you think you could rock his Battle City outfit? You and I both know the answer to that. His style, which I’d argue reflects a futuristic, gender-fluid, androngynous look, matches his interior ability to produce the kind of cool we mere mortals could only dream of. Kaiba and his ambitions knew no bounds. 

Unfortunately, this just revolved around beating some short dude at a card game and occasionally taking care of his little brother. BUT WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE GREATNESS? I also have to give a shout-out to the voice actor Eric Stuart, who voiced the English dub of Yu-Gi-Oh!. He was able to capture the perfect tone of this icy anti-villain.

I know for many of my generation, their first anime crush was Sesshōmaru. Before him, maybe it was Misato Katsuragi. But for high school Oona, my first anime crush was SETO KAIBA. I was a HUGE Serenity Wheeler x Seto Kaiba Fan Fiction shipper. I AM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT, EITHER. I READ THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE ROMANCE FANFICS. THEY WERE CUTE. YOU KNOW, THE OPPOSITES ATTRACT, SISTER OF THE ENEMY, HEART OF ICE GETS MELTED BECAUSE OF SWEET LOVE-INTEREST; IT WAS AWESOME. *clears throat*

Anyways. This article is only here to reaffirm my admiration for one of the bitchiest, most fabulous, richest assholes to ever grace an anime studio’s workup. Seto Kaiba was such an extreme character; not just in terms of his wardrobe but the entire mission of his character: to be the BEST duelist in the world. He created and financed the development of unparalleled technology solely to defeat a man at said card game in the afterlife. THE. AFTERLIFE. Who the fuck does that? Seto Kaiba, that’s who. I could argue he doesn’t know how to lose, which isn’t always an admirable quality. There’s grace in accepting defeat.

This article feels like a prelude of sorts. There is a deeper analysis that should be had of the Herculean character history of Kaiba. Maybe one day I will be able to go further into detail; Obelisk knows there’s more than enough material to dwell on. For now, please enjoy these short YouTube clips that spring forth from my adoration. Seto Kaiba: The bitchiest, extravagantly fashionable, richest 2-D asshole!

“Nobody is doing it like Seto Kaiba” (Video Edit Credit: Twitter User: @steph25nice. Video Link here)

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  • Oona Sura is a cosplay enthusiast with an appreciation for Framboise Lambic, Haruki Murakami, and cats. Catch her at the next anime convention on the East Coast!

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