Orphan Black Recap: The Collapse Of Nature

***Spoilers be getting chopped into single file and snorted off the glass table*** Oh My Gawd Sestras, AND YOU SAY CLONE CITY! Swear to Leda this shit snuck back up on us like the night that Walt Whitman used to talk about, but this shit is here and it’s back, yo. And you know how we know this some Orphan Black shit? Cuz the first gotdamn shot of the new season is in the woods where folks burying a body while someone in a fuckin’ sheep mask is stalkin’ them. I mean, is we full #CloneOnCloneOnClone thirty seconds in here or what? Not only these cats burying a body, but they sharing loving kisses between the shovel drops too? I mean, the couple that buries bodies together is the couple that…you know what, we don’t need to know what them kind of muthafuckas do when they ain’t disposing of bodies. Sheepface almost gets caught, but then gets her Jesse Owens on through the woods. When she gets clear, she makes a phone call and Clone #1 picks up.

Sheepface is like, “You wanna see a dead body…but don’t trust anyone.” Waking up next to Clone #1 is…Paul? Wait, impossibly handsome Monitor Action Figure Paul?!?! Wait, this dude just call her Beth? I’m in a flashback?!?! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME?!?! The timer on my DVR says 3 minutes and that is not appropriate “get in your feels” prep time. Beth gets the coordinates from an “MK” before she goes into the bathroom and straight TONY MONTANAS SOME PILLS off the counter. Like, Lawd. We knew Beth was troubled but we start off with her …