And you say Central City! We return to the city with no speed limits to see Barry having to console Iris yet again on his failure to locate Eddie. He’s called in by Cisco who did some Sherlock shit on Wells’ wheel chair. Turns out there was more to the tricked-out low rider than deceiving folks of his paralysis.
Joe, Cisco, and Barry all head down to the accelerator. Cisco has his orange drank in hand because if Wells is nearby then the liquid will give them an early warning as it’ll begin floating in the air and start reenacting the Janet Jackson & Busta Rhymes “What’s It Gonna Be” video.
Wells sped by them with the ill NBA Jam cross-over. Barry speeds after him but Joe and Cisco realize Wells let one of the inmates out of their cells. Out comes Peek-a-Boo taking revenge on aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayebody’s ass, man.
After locking Peek-a-Boo back up Joe hears someone yelling for help.
Eddie: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!! He’s been making me watch season 3 of Arrow on repeat! It’s sooo laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!!!!
Joe goes down the way to discover where Wells was keeping Eddie, and Iris comes with and finds the ring Eddie was going to give her. Back topside Barry comes back winded but sees Eddie alive and partially well. Eddie tells them Wells was working on some futuristic tube thingy… as far as he could tell. Man, Eddie is like “Shit was weird and dude kept giving me freaking spoiler alerts for my future. This shit too weird for me. I’m going home.” Cisco realizes what Wells put in play and finds the device. The device doesn’t have an off switch, and being that it’s from Best Buy in 2025, there ain’t shit he can do to deactivate it.
Eddie goes back into work and is confronted by Iris. He told her earlier that the ring was for her but he was shown by Wells that she marries Barry. Now Iris is putting on the UBER front, saying that him finding out she marries Barry in the future means nothing because she decides her destiny. Eddie is like, “Yeah here’s the thing… It’s always been three people in this relationship and not like the fun way but the “behind red door section” in blockbuster way cause it’s been you, me and Barry. Soooooo let’s just dead that.”
The attention now turns towards the prisoners stuck in the particle accelerator. They need to be moved. Joe West puts his criminal justice PHD out there as he asks why these cats were just being held here and not being rehabilitated so they could go back into society eventually. The answer to that was Cisco saying, “Yeah, but that was before shit… got… hectic?” Barry goes to call in some favors to try and get them moved to Ollie’s prison on Lian Yu (Joe heard Ollie and was like “this shit goin’ to back-fucking-fiiiiiiire“), and Joe goes to The DA to hypothetically explain his dilemma. First and foremost, this DA is most def the bae of the district. She telling Joe “Nah… nooooope. Moving super-powered prisoners? I don’t hear anything, la-la-la-la-la-la-la.”
Joe tells Barry the police ain’t ’bout to do a damn thing for this shit. He could lose his badge, pension, the cool peacoat detective jacket they gave him for his birthday. All of that shit would be GONE. Barry already got the hook up from Lyla on a flight from Argus to transport the prisoners. However, without the police Barry has to make a tough call, which takes him to meeting Leonard Snart at his bar. Talking to Snart has got to be annoying cause this dude just makes cold puns, quips, and references 24/7. He purposely hits the jukebox to play Foreigner’s “Cold As Ice.” Alright man… we fucking get it, you’re into cold temperatures. It would’a been hilarious if it was the M.O.P. version but apparently Snart ain’t cold enough for that shit.
He tells Barry he’ll help him, but only if he can get him what he needs. He writes something down on a napkin, which I assume was a request for Beyonce tickets, and Barry was like, “You know how much that shit goes for now? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooope. Find something else.” Back at Star Labs Snart reappears saying he has a new request. He wants all criminal records of him erased.
It’s one awkward ride as Cisco and Snart’s sister are driving up front. The sexual tension is awkward as he gives her a code name Golden Glider. They make it to the Ferris Air base in Central City which is where Argus’ plane will land for transport.
Snart: Thought this place was shut down.
Barry:Yeah it was when a test pilot disappeared after a crash…(breaks 4th Wall) HAL JORDAN COMIN’ Y’AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!
Everything is all going to plan, but then something happens where Cisco’s device is deactivated and all hell breaks loose. The villains straight up bust out (after damn near being about to murder one another when they woke up powerless in the back of the truck) and they’re just bucking off their abilities left and right.
Back at Star Labs Barry is in a bad way now and it’s time for Joe to come in and give him that real talk.
You know Joe been waiting the longest to talk that shit on Oliver. All that was missing from that speech was him ending it with “We Must protect this house!” As the count down for the Particle Accelerator reaches its end, Wells shows up outside on some “Come out and plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay” Warriorz homage.
Wells: Good job with the inmates… saw how that went.
Barry: All part of your plan, I take it.
Wells: hm? Nah, not really, I ain’t even give a fuck about none of them. I been eating lobster bisque waiting for this countdown to finish. Why don’t you stop all this stopping me foolishness Barry, you know I’m that nice, man.
Barry: I mean, I could, but then… what would I tell my… squaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!
Honey Mustard Flash: Then I will fight you with my Tai Chi from the future, and as a bonus I’m do that Winter Soldier “flip the object mid-fight” trick as well.
Once he got caught trying to be fancy with the ass whooping, Wells vibrates the nanites out of his body then attacks Oliver again. He so reckless with the spoilers for his future as well.
Before Ronnie and Ollie bounce like they were playing stick ball in the street and broke a window, Oliver tells Barry he is going to need to cash in a favor… and to tell Eddie and Joe West to stop dragging his show and his name.
Barry: Ehhhh I’ll help you out but I can’t make any promises on Joe. *picks up Honey Mustard Flash*
Guy: WHAT THE FUCK Y’ALL DO TO MY CAR
Barry: Oh… was this your Prius? RUN, Y’ALL! RUN!!