Hey, what’s going on!? It’s the No-Locked-Predator-of-Assistant-Editors Omar Holmon, aka Young Student Loans. They brought back MTV Cribs just for us to do a … *cellphone rings*… hold on lemme take this call… Yeah, Oh this isn’t MTV Cribs? I technically can’t say that due to copyrights? Okay, got it…got it… This is Google Hangouts: Cribs edition? Alright. We’re still going to Six Flags after this, right? Well that’s disappointing. *Hangs Up*.
Alright, well my plans after this just got snipped but anyway, I wanna welcome y’all to the tour of the Black Nerd Problems virtual office. We been around for about a year now so we figure it was time to give the people a look into the matrix and a tour of how we get down online, nah mean? We got the designs via Green Lantern John Stewart. We had a pool on what we wanted the office to look like and “horse shoe” got pulled out of the hat so…yeah. WE REAL LITERAL OUT HERE!!
Here at Black Nerd Problems, we’re like any other office…except for the fact that we actually like our jobs here and don’t try to hang ourselves in the break room… except for Taj but that’s cause he likes to hang upside down like Batman to get the ideas going. Don’t judge that man’s process.
We got arcade games, Whack-a-Mole, there’s a Slip-N-Slide some here around here and Beyonce. Yeah Beyonce just likes to use our break room between tours, no big deal. Don’t play her in any racing game tho. You will lose. The high score changes depending on what arcade game you’re playing. We all got our strengths but Anissa, Will and Taj are down here the most.
This is where we shoot the pop culture the most. We just post up and talk about shit that went down on Game of Thrones (mostly the problematic shit), which comic book is running the publishing game right now, and we take bets on how many push-ups Jordan does before each editorial (don’t judge his process).
Now this is where things get a bit interesting. We got a lot of contributors on the site and it’s still growing so we’re going to check out some of their offices. Now when I say check out their offices I technically mean walk in unannounced and observe them in their natural habitat while I describe what they’re doing with a Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin accent… but it’s cool. It’s cool… totally cool. Let’s go see what Clips (Carrie McClain) is up to.
Carrie does a lot with our Instagram and BNP Twitter and rightfully so we call her the Mother of Memes. A good 99.9% of the gifs you see via social media from us stem from her and this is where she keeps them all. Well, not all of them because some she keeps in a mind palace as well as backed up in a subspace highway (via Romona Flowers) which none of us have clearance for. Let’s just climb up to her main command center and…yeap we can see Carrie at work now. That’s usually the stance she hits once an editorial is done.
I like to call Leslie’s office The Lost Library. It’s fitting because she reads so many novels that vary from sci-fi to afro-punk to genres you ain’t even know about. This is her stash which basically looks like every researcher’s safe haven. Fun fact, no one knows exactly how many square feet Leslie’s office is yet somehow if you try to borrow a book she’ll know which one and how long you had it for.
Not everyone stays in their office when they are getting creative. I can guarantee that if you don’t see the EIC Will Evans or Mr. Editorial Jordan in either of their offices the chances are they are in the gym on the court. Ah, see look like they are getting ready to play a pick-up game as we speak.
This is where our gamers Ian, Anissa as well as Will come to get down for the reviews. Others join in on the action too. Ian is a firm believer in PC over everything while others on the site will rep consoles. I can only view this place from the outside because apparently accidentally spilling your Snapple in this room is a crime against humanity.
This concludes Part One of the tour. When we come back I’ll show you more of the virtual offices and folks that help make the dream work. I’ll see y’all after this spam ad.