How Game of Thrones Fans Insist On a Fate Worse Than Death

***Spoilers for all of Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire. Need a funny refresher on the Game of Thrones Season 5 finale? See the recap of Mother’s Mercy.*** “Don’t worry, they’ll bring him back.” That’s the chorus sung by every Jon Snow fan, heartbroken by his death but encouraged by the surety he’s not dead or will be brought back to life. And it’s baffling. To be clear, I love Jon Snow. I mean, if he had a publicist at the Wall or maybe a few Black friends, maybe his brother’s wouldn’t have hated his decisions and wanted to kill him so much. I wish he had lived. I wish others at the Wall understood the threat of White Walkers. I wish more happened in A Dance with Dragons so that Jon’s murder wasn’t needed as a climax. I wish, I wish, I wish. But not a single one of those wishes came true, which leaves us at a crossroads that we should just be honest about: either Jon Snow is dead, or his character is the subject of the most inexplicably cheap writing of an epic fantasy series.

[quote_right]Jon Snow’s character is important, but that doesn’t mean he’s necessary[/quote_right]There are no shortages of theories that Game of Thrones fans search out in hopes of validating his life, all the way down to Kit Harrington’s acting contract, but the plot explanations are the ones that make me simultaneously laugh and cry: “His character is too important,” “He can come back as a White Walker,” “Melissandre can bring him back to life,” “He could have warg-ed into Ghost,” “But wh…