“Quick with the quidditch time to play keep away.” If you ever wondered what it be like to see a nerd survive in the Danger Room of battle-rapping, then look no further than the man that “Rhyme spontaneous // 12 block radius // so dope I use my real name as an alias.” None other than Carter Deems. The nerd emcee hailing from the South has been battling for a while now and it has been the most awkwardly hilarious and nerdy journey for this guy.
I always imagined if I was a rapper I’d strictly rhyme about obscure pop culture references and global warming. I would’a cornered the market on that shit. Little did I realize I was already beaten to the punch by Carter Deems aka “The Ja Rule of Law School.” I discovered a couple of his battles and seeing this dude take a humorous approach against opponents who were clearly coming with aggression and predominately street-themed metaphors / punch-lines started to feel like I was watching an escape artist at work.
Listening to his opponent deliver a great line involving guns, you’re wondering “okay, how is he going to get out of this one?” Since Carter never plays that card, he says, “I’ll go to your mom’s house and have a progressive conversation // it’s witty and intellectual but only in moderation // he loves guns and says the glocks are blazing // I’ll expose his heart without touching metal. Operation!”
Oh… oh good lawd, that’s how. Carter will be the first to mention in his rhymes that he isn’t street and doesn’t do gun-talk, but the route he uses around that angle is what keeps me watching for when his next battles are.
What Carter lacks in aggression he makes up for in awkward unpredictable quips, “I’m well read like Pete & Pete.” His greatest strength is being able to make a crowd full of folks laugh. We’ve seen it before when other battlers every so often throw in a funny line. Carter gets real grimy with his tho, “And my flow is nerdy but so dirty I don’t have to curse // his delivery is more awkward than when your parents argue on the way to church.” Don’t even get me started on when he starts rhyming about his cats or when he is talking about how “I got a microwave the same color as a microwave.” It’s lines that come out of nowhere like this that has the crowd laughing. Carter may be awkward (admittedly shy as well) but he can keep a crowd entertained and laughing. If you don’t know how hard it is to make people laugh then take it from Edmund Gwenn who on his dying day said:
“Death is easy, comedy is hard”
Carter’s style is so infectious that there are moments when even his opponents laugh at the absurdity and break character. There have been rare times where an opponent will play Carter’s game, as Dallas did. In this battle with Carter, in the third round Dallas proclaimed that Carter rhymed like a game designer then proceeded to list obscure references to mages, crescent flames, and doppelgangers. Carter will make his opponents play his game and expose their nerd when they manipulate obscure pop culture references right back at him. For a brief moment, the battle becomes a nerd-off. This was even more evident when S-Class level veteran rapper Illmaculate set it up to battle Carter Deems — what took place was one of the best nerd-offs of all time. Now Illmaculate definitely fucks with comics video games as evident in his battle against DNA where he stated
Illmac isn’t one to fuck around especially in how hard he went in that battle. However, when facing Carter we see a different side where he is rhyming about Carter using the money from the battle to buy loads of cat food, lasers, and cat youtube videos, even laughing at himself and how absurd his rhymes are for this battle. It is so fucking glorious to watch. Illmac started a line saying, “Back to the 17 cats he knows all their birthdays and even assigns them personality quirks that weren’t there in the first place. He be like… *Struggling to hold in his laugh*”
You honestly can’t help but die laughin’ from this. It’s great as we’re seeing a seasoned vet show a limber, loose, humorous side and Carter gets to do the same as well as getting the affirmation that it might be hit or miss with some but people and other battlers respect and enjoy his shit. Fucking Murda Mook said he enjoyed Carter’s shit. I mean come on, that’s two vets that are fucking with ya nerd man.
If ya need anymore proof of nerd, check the Tweets cause you can’t fake or force that shit. This is true awkward nerd cred right here. He keeps it one hunned even in his twitter description, “My parents found out I’m a battle rapper :(”
My boss told me to “think outside of the box.” Then he told me to go back to my cubicle.
— Carter Deems (@VegetarianArms) April 25, 2015
The roof of my mouth stays burnt because I’ve decided to live my life regardless of, no, in defiance of what a Pizza Hut server tells me
— Carter Deems (@VegetarianArms) December 3, 2014
So if you’re into pop culture, cats, awkward pauses, quick quips, and hearing a bar that makes you laugh and have to rewind the video back then it might be in your best interest to check out Carter Deems. I mean who else can tie together a bar using yoga with this much grace.
“You reach more than yoga // You should end each line with ‘namaste’ // My parents tried to kick me outta the basement, but I was like ‘Nah, I’ma stay.”- Carter Deems