Wakanda Barbershop – Episode Seven: Black Hero Twitter Is Lit

*Otis comes out the kitchen eating pound cake.
He spots Eli Bradley (Patriot) sweeping the floor*

Otis: I’m old, not bedridden. I can still move a broom.

Eli: I know. I also know the look Grandad would give me if he found out I was the last customer when you closing shop and didn’t offer to help.

Otis: Mmmmm Isaiah does have that way about him.
*eases into his chair* You still tryin’ to study abroad over here?

Eli: Of course. Between the election and this whole sequel to Civil War issue, I’m looking into dual citizenship.

Otis: This have to do with Cap’n Marvel using that Inhuman kid Ulysses’ abilities to prevent disasters?

Eli: Yuuuup. Tony Stark was against it from jump but Black Hero Twitter already called that way before Tony. Have you seen #NotOurCarol?

Otis: Boy I can’t keep up with Twitter tap, trap, Twitter trap, thirst trap.

Eli: *surprised* …Wow. Basically, it’s all the Black heroes clowning this whole “Protect The Future” stance Carol’s got. She been so recklessly pushing for it, even though flaws were pointed out with Ulysses’ actually seeing probabilities and not truths, that folks are thinking Carol been replaced with a Skrull.

Otis: I’d rather Skrulls be the case, cause I actually like Carol. It ain’t like her to be unreasonable.

Eli: Lemme see your Kimoyo Card, I’ll show you who to follow. Your Twitter feed will be crazy from this.

*Eli moves behind Otis, looking over his shoulder.
Otis gets his phone off the counter then his reading glasses from his shirt pocket*

Otis: Better not have me out here slidin’ into somebody’s DMV.

Eli: It’s DM’s… never mind, just keep scrollin’ down. It should still be trending.

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Otis: Even T’Challa got in on this?

Eli: And he usually never tweets.

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Otis: Wayaminute, they think Miles gonna do some’n to Star Spangled Privilege!?

Eli: *shaking head* I know.

Otis: They chargin’ the boy with a futuristic vision? Miles? Miles who be in here drinkin’ all my organic coconut water Miles?

Eli: I forget how the state's affairs seem even more like a reality tv show when I'm overseas.
Eli: I forget how the state’s affairs seem even more like a reality tv show when I’m overseas.

Otis: Ugh. How many times Steve been dead and came back now?

Eli: Nowhere near Jean Grey’s record.

*Otis continues reading*

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*Otis and Eli stare at Zenzi’s tweet speechless*

Otis: *drops phone* I’m done. *gets out of chair then throws hands up in utter defeat*

Eli: Wait. Where you goin’?

Otis: To bed. I’ma sleep off what I just saw. Turn out the lights before you leave.

Eli: It’s not that bad…

Otis:*mumbling to self* Folk done lost they damn minds.

Eli: I mean — it kinda is, but.. Otis!

*Door shuts in the distance*

Eli: Awwww man, Come on Otis. Otis! …Don’t tell my Grandad!


Welcome to the Wakanda Barbershop! Here we get to see your favorite Black Marvel characters, as well as other characters of color, be self-aware and talk about what’s going on in our timeline of reality and their fictional 616 Marvel universe. What better place to hang and vent than the best barbershop on Earth, located in Wakanda? It’s so popular that characters from other comics publishers are allowed to stop in. Even characters that have been in limbo for years can be spotted in the Wakanda Barbershop, “Where That Atmosphere Be So Black.”

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  • Omar Holmon is a content editor that is here to make .gifs, obscure references, and find the correlation between everything Black and Nerdy.

  • Show Comments

  • Evil Ninja (@EvilNinjaX24)

    This about sums it up, lol.

  • PharaohSteve (@PharaohSteve)

    This was too perfect

  • Lettie D

    OMG where is the next one. Come on we don’t had even more stuff happen as of late.

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