Game of Thrones Recap: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

Season: 8 / Episode: 2, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” / HBO ***Spoilers be sliding in the DMs one last time before the servers get shut off. Check the rest of our Thrones recaps here.*** Maaaaaaan, listen. Previously on Real Rulers of Winterfell:

And now Jaime out here testifying before Congress with Daenerys getting her best Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on. Put this shit on C-Span you cowards! Dany talking about when she was younger, her brother used to tell her bedtime stories of Jaime killing her father. I mean, look, we don’t need more evidence that her brother Viserys was a terrible dude, but the fact that he was like, “And then once upon a time, a man plunged a whole ass sword through our father’s heart, watched his blood pool on the floor; ok sleep tight!” is just further evidence. Jaime catching her up on the timeline with that “tweets you might have missed that everyone liked, but didn’t retweet, so what’s the point of retweets now” function. Cersei ain’t sending a gotdamn thing. And she got the Greyjoys in pocket (among other places). And she got the Golden Company with 20K on the board ready to destroy whoever wins the war up north. Shit is all bad. He says that she never intended to send her army north, and Dany looked at Tyrion like, “I knew you was a muthafuckin’ lie.” Tyrion comes to Jaime’s defense but Tyrion’s credibility been shot to hell for a minute now. Dude ain’t won a spades game since he took an axe to the face at the Blackwater. Your boy been putting …