Let me be the first to admit that when the announcement and even the first promo shot dropped for Ocean’s 8 I was not feeling it. Until just now when I watched the trailer because they just hit me in my target demographic — located right behind the solar plexus for maximum feels.
When people praise the Golden Age duo of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, usually Fred’s name comes up as the best. But we all know Ginger was better. Why? Because she did everything he did backwards and in heels. Like a bawse. And in this tradition of actresses quietly being better than their male counterparts, our third romp with Ocean’s ragtag Rolodex of rogues is dropping the testosterone and three members.
We open on Sandra Bullock as Debbie (really stretching creative muscles on that one) Ocean doing her late-stage Sandra Bullock-est in her parole review panel. Then safes, gemstones, diamonds, ball gowns, Women of Color, THIEVERY! She’s out and reunited with her bff/lancer, Cate Blanchett in an American accent — I love you girl, but never do a Russian accent again please and thank you.
They’ve gotta squad up if they’re pulling off this yet-unnamed heist. We’ve got jewelry forger and victim of an overbearing mother Mindy Kaling, master hacker Rihanna, clothing designer…seamstress…I’mnotreallysure Helena Bonham Carter, master of Sleight (minus the electromagnet) Awkwafina, and mom who retired from this business but can’t resist doing one more job because momming is hard, Sarah Paulson. And what Frank Sinatra and George Clooney needed 11 to do, Sandra’s got in 8. And the mark? The actress everyone loves to hate for honestly no reason and the not Shakespeare’s wife, one, Anne Hathaway.
What I know this movie is gonna deliver:
Some great laughs thanks to Bullock,
Kaling, Carter, Blanchett, Hathaway, and Paulson.
Some fashion lewks because they’re robbing The MET Ball.
Extra meta-ness seeing Rihanna, Queen of MET fashion and usually the only one following the annual theme, at the ball as not-Rihanna.
Some convoluted heist plan that will only kinda make sense.
A George Clooney cameo.
What I hope this movie is gonna deliver:
A good Rihanna acting performance (please, please, please, please, please)
A script that passes the Bechdel Test.
A total absence of a George Clooney cameo.
A Julia Roberts as Tess Ocean cameo.
A brawl with Anne Hathaway, like Michelle Rodriguez, Charlize Theron-level knockdown, drag-out scrapping.
A negligible amount of James Corden.
Men in revealing clothes.
A surprise appearance by Lupita Nyongo.
As it stands, this Ocean’s soft reboot looks more like a Casino Royale than a Terminator Genisys. Despite some skepticism and admittedly high hopes, I’m on the team for Ocean’s 8.
How about you?
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