Season: 2 / Episode: 4 / HBO
***Spoilers be drinking nitro straight from the bottle*** Check all of this season’s recaps rightchea
Ayo, who’s post modern “I only fuck with vinyls from the future” crib is this?” Looks like Papa Delos himself. Getting his workout on and just living it up in a luxurious but small ass crib. Ehhh, what done happened to da gawd. Nothing about this seems promising considering dude had a whole ass family last time we saw him.
He’s gotta visitor and wouldn’t you know it, it’s Yung William. Papa Delos is impatient and wants out, but Yung William is like, yeah we still running them tests fam. And this ain’t no scantron, ain’t no guessing C on this shit, we gotta take our time. Basically, this is an interview for fidelity, testing Papa Delos on what his responses will be to the same baseline questioning. Papa Delos thinks that’s some bullshit until Yung William hits him with…some receipts? We don’t know that shit yet.
In the present, William in Black and Lawrence still on that level 10 quest. You come up on some hosts that done went all the way crazy, using guests as fuckin’ stakes for the railroad. Gotdamn man. Ain’t nothing civil when the park goes down.
Meanwhile, Clementine been dragging Bernard’s broken ass for the length of Pennsylvania. She just gonna drop his ass off like she a stork at the mouth of some cave. She left that dude a gun and then got up out. Bernard got the rifle at the ready, knowing damn well his failing ass can’t see straight. There’s a prisoner in the cave and when the blanket gets pulled back…it’s Elsie!?!?
ELSIE BAAAAACK. Literally, the only person in the park that was doing their job well last season. Bernard shoots the shackle off her ankle and frees her, but she jumps up and grabs the Unforgiven and points that shit back at him. He like, I wouldn’t harm you and Elsie is like, muthafucka, who you think choked me out and brought me here?
Bernard like, look fam, that wasn’t me. I mean, yeah, that was definitely fuckin’ me, but it wasn’t my fault. Ford made me do it. Elise think Bernard having a stroke or some shit and try to get the fuck outta there. First though, Bernard shows her his data sheet and reveals that Bernard is alright, but he not real. She realizes all that shit about an ex wife, dead son, all that shit was narrative. She stabilizes and literally puts him in safe mode (I laughed my ass off on that. Safe mode finally good for something).
After your boy gets more flashes of some shit he done seen or did, he comes to with Elsie pointing the gun at him. She like, yeah, you all kinds of messed up fam, like you shot yourself…oh yeah, cuz he did shoot himself. Bernard lets Elsie know that the Calvary ain’t coming cuz Delos willing to let the slaughter go down until they got what they need. He start seeing flashes of him coming to this place for a secret lab. Bernard pulls the hidden switch, and Elsie gotta be pissed. Man, you done had me out here on a tarp with some rations and a shit bucket, and there was a damn lab 20 feet away this whole time?!
Yeah, this shit is a whole ass lab yo. But also, it’s a massacre. A lot of dead lab coats up in here, yo. Bernard got that Bran Stark vision, and he seeing how all this shit went down. Them drones had something to do with this and apparently, one of them still in there. Bernard tells her not to threaten it, but Elise is fed up and is like fuck that. She put three in dude like it was a shooting range. No remorse.
Elise goes to pump fake on helping Bernard and asks if Ford is controlling him. Bernard gotta tell her Ford got assassinated in the booth like Lincoln. Yeah Elise, things are as bad as they’ve ever been.
Also, Ghost Nation just rounding people up and dragging them like cattle. They got everybody captured. Security detail, guests, our mystery woman that fought off a fuckin’ Bengal tiger and swam to tell about it. Everybody scared of the Ghost Nation, but they ain’t actually killing folks. Ole girl is like, yeah, I’m trying to get out of here, but I ain’t trying to go home just yet.
WIB and Lawrence back in Lawrence’s homestead, but this ain’t no reunion. They there about five minutes before the guns come out, and they outnumbered. It’s Major and his remaining crew that Teddy let live back at the Fort. WIB notices that his crew is much smaller, and Major says they got double-crossed by Wyatt. WIB like…
Hmph. Good for her.
They all get brought into the church where the rest of the town is being held hostage. Major wants revenge, and he gonna use the town’s assets to do it. Lawrence tells him there’s a stash of guns here, but he thinks they’ll get killed if they tell them. Man, WIB said fuck that, ayo Major, I know where some guns at fam.
Ahhh, we back in that post modern…prison? Your boy Papa Delos is really having a hard time filling the hours, yo. He up in here dancing like nobody is watching when…he being watched like a hawk. But his pour hand has gotten better. He’s got a new visitor. Just like the old visitor, looks like the same conversation is playing out, and I think we have our baseline. But now we finally get to see the receipts. It’s the transcript of everything your boy just said. Down to the chuckles and implied threats.
Turns out this is Host-Delos and the real Delos died about 7 years ago. HD is excited to see the world, but he’s learning a lot has changed in 7 years, like Mama Delos died of a stroke. But…then he starts seeing the tremors. And then HD start stammering…and failing. Straight up Breathe and Stop video without the dancers. He ain’t ready yo. Yung William leaves and even though it’s the farthest they’ve gotten…gotta burn the whole thing down and start over.
After WIB done gave up the goods, Major and his boy ready to fuckin’ party like they won the lottery or some shit. Also…Major is fuckin’ horrible yo. Just straight up torturing guests and hosts alike. He blew the bartenders hand off for no reason. WIB gotta be lookin’ at this shit like…I might have made a mistake.
Ghost Nation still got all the guests hostage. Your girl, the capable one, breaks free of her bonds, takes a branch, hits a double off the left field wall, and gets the fuck out.
Bernard wakes up from that fresh oil change, and Elsie trying to figure out what this encryption shit is cuz none of this shit should’ve been in the park. Elsie breaks down that Bernard is all schizophrenic cuz his memories aren’t addressed to anything, so it’s like an endless dreamscape of stuff with no chronology.
Fuck that.
Yeah, Bernard was out here giving executive orders. Then this shit went straight horror film. They hear a knocking from down the hall and because Elsie is absolutely the type that survives horror films, she wants to investigate. Bernard knew some other stuff was going down though and tries to stop her.
Back in the worst town on earth, Major just terrorizing everybody cuz he literally has nothing else better to do. They out here beating the mess out of Lawrence and trying to make him drink nitro…just cuz. And just for good measure, he starts meesin’ with Lawrence’s wife… once again just cuz. He gonna send her out in the rain to take Lawrence a drink and fam, it looked like any number of terrible things was gonna happen. WIB getting some flashbacks with that rain falling. Reminding him of a bathtub overflowing with bloody water..yikes! Looks like that speculation that Juliette killed herself and this rain is almost too much to take.
WIB start talking about Death is final, the only true thing. Then drops this banger:
You think you know death. But you didn’t recognize that he’s been sitting across from you this whole time.
Man, listen. That dude went from pouring himself a drink to breaking that bottle, slitting the Major’s throat and then shooting AYEBODY. D-Block told y’all, you weren’t all gonna make it to glory, and you didn’t want to listen. He takes that nitro shot back from Lawrence’s wife and makes Major take a sip. He gives a rifle to Lawrence, and Lawrence blew Major the fuck up. It’s savage out here man.
Aaaaaand we’re back. Host Delos pour hand is strong, and he’s got a visitor. He don’t know who it is, but it’s Old Ass William this time with that drink. Even with some divergent paths, that dialogue lookin’ the same. Host Delos is like, fam, I’m ready, and Old Ass William is like…nah, we gotta pump the brakes on that. They done brought Host Delos back more times than Jean Grey fam. This is the longest he’s lasted, which is 33 days.
Just so we’re clear: the big project, was eternal life. Papa Delos has had his consciousness put into this host body hoping to cheat death. But his mind keep rejecting the real world whenever he learns about it.
THEN OLD ASS WILLIAM GOES IN. He’s like, the engineers will probably crack it and make this shit work in a year or two…but I’m actually good on that. Took me 30 years, but this shit been a mistake the whole time. Muthafuckas shouldn’t live forever, especially assholes like you.
Then your boy cascually tells Host Delos that everybody is dead man. His wife, his daughter, his son. The last two couldn’t handle reality on their own terms. Then he gonna leave Host Delos there like, well…it’s been some version of real.
And now we know what was behind door number one. Elsie and Bernard investigate the room that Old Ass William didn’t terminate and…this muthafucka Host Delos is still…going? Malfunctioning? Hal-9000-ing? Man, your boy done murdered a folk or two, and he went right back to the exercise bike?!?! You gotta get it in somehow.
He done grabbed a shard of glass off the mirror and tries to “Hitchcock” Elsie. Bernard acts like he had some Long Kiss Goodnight training embedded in him and takes down Host Delos. After your boy gets his violent delights monologue on, Elsie hits that incinerate on that ass. They figured out what was at stake here, that all of this was a cover for living forever. Bernard realizes that Ford sent him there to print a control unit for somebody else, but Bernard can’t remember who.
Elsie tries to leave but Bernard is like, fam, we can do this together cuz I want to solve this shit too. And Ford ain’t got them strings on me anymore. But now we got the real flashback. Bernard came through, printed that control unit, and then ordered the code read on all these lab mofos. Drones was out here doing the efficient murder yo. And then themselves. What in all fucks is going on man? One survivor? Nope, not after Bernard curb stomped him. And literally seconds after Bernard promised Elsie no more secrets…he definitely kept that a secret that he just had everyone murked.
WIB is leaving the town, and he got the loyalty of the folks he just saved. Then Lawrence’s daughter hit him with that Hive mind control, and Robert’s words coming out of her mouth like…oh, you thought this was a game, b? Ok. Ok.
They out on the plains and see a woman coming near them on horse. And…it’s Grace. The capable one. WIB’s daughter.
Maaaaaaan, what?!?!
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