Gym Memberships Set to Increase 200% as DBZ Returns

Fitness centers are projected to see a spike in profits this summer with the triumphant return of the 291-episode series Dragon Ball Z, called Dragon Ball Super. After a nearly 20-year hiatus, the anime will return to television bringing a wave of returning gym-goers who have not lifted weights since the show ended in 1996 and echoes faded in the early 2000s. Known for its high-powered fighters, the show is known to motivate high levels of tenacity and passion in athletes of all kind, particularly recognized by clutched fists and mouths screaming to the sky inspiring basketball players who call And-1. DBZ’s influence is felt in metaphysical areas of athletics as well, as sports psychologists reportedly used Piccolo GIFs to help regrow the spider webs that hold together Derrick Rose’s knees. Earlier in 2015, the New York Knicks discussed featuring anime music videos of DBZ at Madison Square Garden during starting lineup announcements to help rouse fans instead of introducing their actual players. The television series even evolved the way fans support their favorite teams:

Most DBZ fans have fallen woefully out of shape since the show’s end, likely being injured physically and emotionally during Dragon Ball GT, which was written by a different creative team. Other characters filled the gap admirably – notably Naruto, Rock Lee, and the scrappy underdogs from the Leaf Village – but it is no coincidence that scientific studies show a remarkable decrease in bench-press maximums s…