Musings of an Aging Nerd

I can’t deny the whiplash general surrealness I feel when I attend conventions now. From childhood to adulthood, dragging my feet into my thirties, being a nerd has remained one of my consistent characteristics. How I molded my nerdiness is thanks in part to being introduced to anime conventions when I was in elementary school. Over the last several years, it has become painfully obvious to me how out of the loop I am with current favorites and trends. I no longer recognize popular cosplays or the names of newly dropped games. I often feel like a stranger wandering the halls of an active convention; barely recognizing things that used to fill me with joy. I acknowledge that getting older is a privilege. I am blessed. However, it’s not without its fair share of setbacks, most of which I notice when I’m enjoying pastimes: Nostalgia anime and gaming. I started getting back into Final Fantasy (specifically VII), and it brought up memories of what it was like finding nerdom in my youth and what it means to me now. My experience is not different from any other nerd, I’m sure. Video games and anime portaled me into different realities at a crucial time of emotional and moral development. Nerddom allowed me to escape. It allowed me to travel within infinite amounts of worlds. It exposed me to new cultures, new romances, new feelings. Nerdoms challenged me. Nerdy media made me think, rethink, and debate beliefs and demanded I examine what my own personal code was. I remain gratef…