Season: 2 / Episode: 4 / CW
And you say Central Ci— Hooooly shit Professor Stein is flatlining again. We open up this week’s Flash with Stein and his vitals Harlem shaking up in Star Labs. Cisco builds a device to keep him stabilized but the power source is finite. Man, seriously Stein should be lookin’ into bringing Life Alert commercials back into the game. He’d make a killing off royalties. Anyhow, the crew gotta find a new merge partner for Doctor Stein since Ronnie is up in the clouds with Mufasa and shit, Stein no longer has someone to bond with to prevent the dark matter molecules from goin’ nuke.
Caitlin narrowed it down to two candidates that could work: Jefferson Jackson and Henry Hewitt (both black men). Caitlin say some really confusing science shit that equates to needing Henry and Jefferson’s blood to make sure they’re suitable matches. Barry ran out and got their blood with his super speed…he did it without permission but that’s cool since Stein is dying *cough Henreitta Lacks’d the black folk ahemm grhmmm.*
Iris is looking through baby photos with her mother and herself. Joe comes in to tell her how she started messin with “mint chocolate chip” from a young age. He tellin’ Iris she doesn’t have to her mom but Iris is cool….she cool. It’s all good (you know damn well it ain’t).
At the precinct Patti and Barry are all awkward as fuck around one another…yet again. Patti got some shark teeth in an evidence bag and folks saying they seen a shark walking on land. A man-shark. Listen, Central City got a telepathic Gorilla and now a fucking Man Shark (King Shark to be specific). It’s time to fucking move, man. Rent must be amazing as hell to keep people wanting to live in the damn twilight zone. Joe notices Patti and Barry yet again in full on awkward, thinkin’ to himself “ughhhhhhhhhhhhh again?”.
Back at Star Labs we find out that both Hewitt and Jackson are a match for Stein. Caitlin goes more for Hewit cause he’s a man of science that clearly wants to do something with this life. Man, Caitlin said that shit and the whole Flash Fandom sucked in air on that line. Barry lookin at her like, “you wanna rephrase that or nah? no? okay. Yaaah how bout we just get both candidates and see whats good? Okay. For the record Caitlin came on a lil’ Republican Party thick in there. Real Fox News on that comment lady.”
Stein and Barry go to meet Jackson at his mechanic job. Stein walks in, hears the rap music, and let’s the shade begin, “ughh is this ASAP Rocky? Booooooo.” Jefferson came out the cut like, “I got that Barbara Streisand fire if you need it?” Stein and Barry make up the most obscure lie to try to explain that Jefferson’s body was affected by the particle accelerator and they can show him some dope shit, Jefferson isn’t bout that particle accelerator aftermath because that shit cost him his Football scholarship by taking out his knee.
Back at Star Labs Barry and Stein walk in to see Hewitt checking the place out and shit. Caitlin brought his ass in, explained the Firestorm matrix to him, gave’em a tour of the place and helped him file his taxes. Caitlin out here makin moves fast cause Stein doesn’t have long. I get it…but you also have the Flash Costume just lyin’ out and about soooooo dudes got a Masters, I’m pretty sure he’d be good at process of elimination but whatever. Hewitt and Stein are bonding over their phsycis and transmutation nerddom.They strap up Hewitt to merge with Sten and it’s a no go.
Why Hewitt black out so quick tho? He straight up blamed the controllers and equipment for him not being able to merge with Stein. Homie threw the ill temper tantrum that culminates in, “oh fuck all yall. Ya tech shoddy and you’re florescent lights are badly lit, I’m outtiee.” Hewitt selfish as heeeell. He leaves but shows a glimpse of the firestorm matrix acting out.
Joe introduces Iris to her mother Francine. Francine is happy as hell to finally meet her daughter to which Iris responds with, “Fuck all that happy to be here shit that yall want me on.” Joe got the, “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn” expression on his face. Iris tells her mom to kick rocks, they good without her. I get that you can say that finally to ya mom’s face for letting you down but geeeeeeeeez Iris. We later find out that Francine is dying from McGregor’s Disease and doesn’t have long as she explains to Joe. Joe tells Iris to which she responds, “Fuck ya dead homies, Run ya bread homie. She probably fakin’ it.”
Joe: Okay, where the hell has your chill gone? I don’t think your mother would lie about this, just putting that out there… Also, I’ma need you to link me to these songs you quoting cause they sound fire.
Joe is later called into a break in at Mercury Labs where Dr. McGee let’s him and Patti know she saw Harrison Wells up in her labs stealing shit. Wells deader than a mutha fucka, so we know it’s Earth 2 Wells. He was already creepin’ around Star Labs in the background on some tenchu stealth assassin shit too. Joe wants Patti to keep her mouth shut on this and NOT tell Barry. Patti reveals now that she is a horrible liar, Joe West is like, “Most law enforcement officers are soooooooooooooooo your point being?”
Jefferson surprisingly turns up at Star Labs. He’s expecting for them to find a way to get his knee fixed but they tell him the break down of his metahuman capabilities should he merge with Dr. Stein and become Firestorm. They lay it on rather thick, too. Telling him he can fly, shoot atomic blasts and process nuclear fusion and fission. Jefferson is like, “mmm hmm… mmm hmmm oh flying? mm hmm nuclear blasts cool.. mmm hmm….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND I’M OUT.”
The realest reaction yet to all this wild metahuman shit. Caitlin then gets mad at this dude NOT wanting to be a superhero. “You dont want all this bomb ass shit? wod? you just goin buckle under. That who you are?” Jefferson is like, “I just came out to have a good time and I’m feelin’ attacked right now sooooo” then bounces.
Back at the lab Barry ran test on Patti’s Man-Shark teeth and found them to have human DNA. Patti then fumbles through trying not to tell Barry bout her other case which may involve a resurrected wells.
Barry: Ehhhh you alright? you actin kinda weird?
Patti: What? No I’m not. You’re different. I’m still Pattie from the block. P. Spvis…thats my rap alias. I do rap shows sometimes…I…record them..and…ughhh…arghhhhh— I think I left the the siren on the squad car on sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo later.
Barry runs into Joe and finds out about Francine’s condition. He asks Joe about Patti mentioning not wanting him on a case.
Joe: *in his head* OMG PATTI you had one job. Yeah no I’m just chasing a lead. I’ll tell you bout it later soooo whats good with you and her anyhow. I’m not changing the subject but I know you stuck on Iris but you should totes shoot the three with Patti. Just saying…not that I am lowkey living vicariously through you or anything…again…just saying…
Meanwhile Hewitt is as at work and his boss comes in talkin’ that SHITTT, which causes Hewitt to black out and essentially tap into the firestorm matrix partly. The crew sees this on the news and surmise he is in an unstable state, which will worsen. Cisco knows dude will go nuclear since he has a long history of assault, battery and mandated anger management. Caitlin now realizes she backed the wrong horse. Stein has another life alert Harlem shakin’ moment and Caitlin goes to see Jefferson to try and convince him to come back not only to save Prof Stein’s life but to become something more. She tells him about Ronnie sacrificing himself to save the city.
Jefferson: Yooooooooooooooooo dude that blew up in the sky was your mans? That shit got like 90 million views on YouTube. I mean that’s not really selling me on the hero thing cause I’m not trying to go out like that.. but you might be right.
In walks Hewitt rocking a H&M Sweater and some slacks, lookin’ like the least threatening villain ever. He hits Jefferson with that energy beam and gets all, “the fuck you do to me Caitlin?” As he closes in on her, Jefferson CHUCKED A FUCKIN ROTATOR CUP AT DUDE’S HEAD AND KNOCKED HIM DOWN. Ummmm I don’t care what super power you have, that shit shoulda killed dude. Caitlin and Jefferson got the fuck outta dodge…and possibly just fled a murder scene but Hewitt is back up and draining energy for his rampage as they leave.
Jefferson finally decides to merge with Stein back in star labs and Firestorm is back and blacker than ever.
Hewitt is reportedly attacking a football field and draining the power from it… why a football field tho? I don’t get it. You get superpowers and your first villain act is to ruin a pee wee football league’s spread? The fuck part of the game is that? Go attack something like Macys or the DMV, man.
Firestorm and Flash make QUIIICK work of Hewitt by getting him to exude enough energy to tire himself out. Later on, Stein and Jefferson take to the road to meet with Stein’s partner that’s going to help them unlock the transmutation skill tree that the previous Firestorm wasn’t able to finish.
Iris meets her mother again and is like, “heard you were dyin…knew that was bullshit cause I investigated your ass. I know about your other son Francine. Is it my dad’s? Do I have a brother? YO, WHY THE FUCK YOU LYIN?”
Iris once again tells her to get outta dodge.
Barry is about to take Joe’s advice as he sees Patti up in the Jitters lookin’ all good as fuck before he suddenly gets yoked up BY A 8 FOOT FUCKING MAN SHARK! Yo hoooooow did a fucking Man shark sneak up on Barry? That’s My question. Secondly NO ONE ELSE SEES THIS GIANT ASS NAKED SHARK MAN ROLLIN’ DOWN THE STREET PRE YOKE UP?! You ever see 8 foot fish sticks snatch me and yoke me up like Shark-Man does Barry: Don’t save me.
It’s not the shark that’s killing me it’s my embarrassment of the situation. Patti comes out and sees Man-Shark and first words out he mouth, “oh shit I was right? HA! Goin’ rub this shit in Barry’s face.” She unloads the clip into the shark man (they ain’t call him King Shark yet) but that does nothing until he gets knocked out from behind by a mysterious dude in black holding the most high tech choppa I done ever seen.
Flash catches up the the dude in black that just saved his life and dude takes the hood off and reveals himself as Earth 2 Harrison Wells. Yeah, shit just got trill in Central City baby.
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