You Can Stop Being Ashamed of Me, I Finally Watched The Wire

You know that disappointment you feel when you reference a popular show to a friend and you’re sitting there waiting for them to react to what you just said, with your eyes all big and doughy, but they give you that “does not compute” blank stare? Now you gotta explain where the reference is from while lookin’ at them and contemplating why the fuck you’re even friends to begin with. Then you ask, “How do you not know (insert: show, movie, rights that all humans deserve despite their color, gender, who they choose to love)?” Well, when it comes to The Wire… that’s me, I’m that friend. For thirteen years not watching this damn show has plagued my existence and threatened to have my Black card be revoked. Apparently, there is no excuse for not having watched this show, even though I didn’t have HBO growing up which is why I wasn’t on it from jump. “Well that ain’t no exquuuuese (excuse), you could’a downloaded that shit by 2008.” The worst part of this shit is my friends know I don’t know The Wire but they still make the references, then explain the significance of the reference they’re making, and why it relates to the current situation that we are talking about. ALL MY FRIENDS do this and ALL MY FRIENDS give me that look you give a person you gotta explain why the joke is funny to while being annoyed that you have to take the time to do it. I’m sitting there apologizing all the while. Muh fuckas wouldn’t even give me partial credit for knowing that The Wire was a spin-off fr…