Black Nerd Problems @ Shark Week 2019: We Outchea

There a few things you should know about me before I proceed with this article. One, I don’t like water (it knows why). Two, I’m not a strong swimmer (a rock swims with more grace). Three, I hate being underwater (because a dude probably goin’ drown). That being said, Discovery Channel invited me to go on a shark dive as press for “Shark Week 2019.” I’m in New York, so my initial response was, “Yall do shark dives in New York?” to which I was informed that it’d be happening the Bahamas. As I mentioned before, I don’t really fuck with water, but I decided to go for a few reasons. If Discovery Channel invites you somewhere, it’s cause they think you built Ford tough for the wild shit, and I’m very Ivan Drago, “if He dies, he dies” (with the He being me) when it comes to these things so fuck it. Also, I could hold this over everyone’s head at work for forever. “Why didn’t I hand that article in on time? Well, because time is a flat circle and cause I dived with sharks for this nerd shit. Did you? Nah? Aight then.” Oh, and did I mention there’s no cage? Why? Because this is Discovery Channel, baby. We out here for real for real. I found that out after I landed. Ivan Drago, yo. We out here. Shark Week 2019 Avengers Line up Left to right: Lauren Benoit, Joe Romeiro, and Paul De Gelder. Shark Week’s Avengers Now, if you’re rocking with sharks then you want a team of experts with you, right. Discovery said, “We’ll do you one better and get you the Avengers for shark dives.” That’s Pa…