Game of Thrones Season 5 Trailer Leaks to Reveal It’s Still Based on 2 Whack Books

The season 5 trailer to the hit HBO series Game of Thrones leaked today, and thus begins the excitement for a new season of televisions #1 show. Unfortunately, season 5 will be based on Feast for Crows and Dance with Dragons, a combination rivaled only by Arrow’s Laurel and Detective Lance and whatever mixture you leave in the bathroom after McDonald’s meals.

Non-SOIAF readers are probably shocked and up in arms already. “How dare you? Game of Thrones is the greatest thing ever!” And I agree. Imagine how I felt after two thousand pages of the last two books! My mind has lived in Westoros for years, which is why I’m doing my part to protect you from the drudgery that is to come. Feast for Crows and Dance With Dragons are two books that take place at the same time, only highlighting different characters. Think about that – you read a book, finish it, and then start the timeline from the beginning to see what someone else is doing. You may be thinking, oh, that could actually be creative, because you’re learning more context around — no, no, no. The book was meant to be one, but when George realized he was writing them too long he used this format as an alternative. The result is a very long book at a very, very slow pace. Even George admitted he intended on having a major war at the end of the book only to run out of space, to which he said something along the lines of, “whoops, I done fucked up.” No major spoilers, although you may wish you had read spoilers when you find ou…